Do you remember that children’s book that was like “when so-and-so was good, they were very very good…but when so-and-so was bad, he was terrible”?

Kids are adorable and funny most of the time, but when they’re creepy?

Lord, y’all, there is nothing scarier than a small child talking about things they shouldn’t be – and these 20 people accidentally overheard some doozies.

20. Someone needs to call the cops.

“I was playing D&D at a coworker’s house. His quiet 9-year-old daughter tugged on my sleeve so I assumed she wanted me to get her some food.

Instead she led me to their Great Dane kennel and said in a loud, suggestive voice ‘I’m a bad doggie. Please spank me, master.’”

19. That’s definitely a sure way to freak a pregnant lady out, omg.

“It’s not a baby in there, it’s a monster and when you go to sleep he climbs out and talks to me about blood.”

“My seven-year-old niece said to her then-pregnant mother, ‘it’s not a baby in there, it’s a monster and when you go to sleep he climbs out and talks to me about blood.’”

18. That’s how you never sleep again.

“A friend got his 2-year-old a lettuce knife so she’d stop asking to use real knives.

One night she looked around the corner with the knife in hand, asked to take it to bed and when they said she half-sang, ‘I know where you sleep. I love youuuuuuuuu.’”

17. I’m honestly not sure which part of this is worse, but the combination is definitely terrible.

“‘I’m going to make you dead. Then I’m going to make you into a cake.’

This from my sister, who was around 5 at the time, after I refused to give her back the pacifier that she’d found.”

16. Turn on ALL the lights.

“I was hanging out with an ex-GF in my parents’ living room a few years back when my little brother (approx. 10y/o at the time) walks into the room looking a little bit dazed and confused (He was sleepwalking a lot around this time.).

He goes straight to the large front window and just stands and stares. I asked him ‘[Little bro’s name] buddy, are you okay, what’re you looking at?’ and his reply was ‘Them. They’re watching. They’ll be here soon.’”

15. That is about as far from right as you could get.

“Santa touches me.”

“My friend was working in a nursery around Christmas time and one of the children said to her ‘Santa touches me…’.She was so creeped-out she gave in her notice and alerted the teachers.”

14. He’s too little to have been pranking you…

“My high-school girlfriend has a little brother who was like 3-4 at the time. One day we were babysitting him and playing with cars on the floor. Out of nowhere, he starts looking really concerned and looking around. We keep playing, but he stands up, and walks straight into the garage.

We followed him in there and he just kept looking toward the wall and started crying. My girlfriend kept asking him what was wrong, and he through all of his weeping he gets out, ‘He says I am his.’

Still freaks me out just thinking about it.”

13. Kids have a lot of wonders, that’s all.

“I wonder what he’d smell like if I burned him up.”

“I used to teach swimming lessons for preschoolers, and we had this one kid name Cass who was the cutest little guy ever, also one of the only one brave enough to let us take him out in the deep end with a life jacket on. Well one day I was swimming slowly with him holding on to my shoulders and I could hear him talking to himself, ‘I wonder what he’d smell like if I burned him up.’

I think the little guy was talking about me.”

12. I would have been calling in reinforcements.

“When I was babysitting for my neighbors, a kid walked up to me and said ‘he’s coming.’ When I asked who he just pointed at the door of the living room.”

11. I truly hope she called CPS.

“‘When mommy kisses me goodnight she puts her tongue in my mouth.’” My friend babysat a little girl and told me she said this.”

10. This is almost sweet?

“My wife’s niece had an imaginary friend when she was 2-3 years old. Not unusual on the surface, but her imaginary friend had the same name as her grandfather who had died 15 years prior, and she seemed to know stories from her dad and aunt’s (my wife’s) life when they were kids. The biggest thing was her friend had died after being shot, which was how her grandfather died.

So I was talking to this little girl about her friend and she said: ‘Yeah, [name] says he can come down from the clouds whenever he wants, he just has to sneak out.’”

9. Kid knows how to prioritize family!

“When I started dating my wife, her 4-year-old niece looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘If you make her cry we’ll take you out into the woods and leave you there.’”

8. She’s going to have a real diagnosis soon.

“I work in the ER. Once a little girl came in. Her mom found her in her room, dragging/scraping a pencil up and down her shin bone. When her mother asked what she was doing, she said ‘I’m just doing my math homework.’

She would not look at her siblings and kept saying she didn’t have any.

She kept eerily staring at her parents, repeating ‘You’re not supposed to be here’ in an all-knowing, matter-of-fact voice.

They brought her to the ER, and they brought along a few sticky notes and drawing that she’d done that night. They looked exactly like something from a horror movie.

One had ‘DEATH’ written in large letters in the middle of the sticky note, and smaller crowded-together repeating ‘deaths’ covering the rest of the note.

One said ‘I know your sisters and I will defeat them without any fear.’

One said ‘Prepare for battle on the trampoline. It begins at sunset.’

It was disturbing.”

7. You never saw her again? What a little liar!

“Little girl by herself at the pool and starts diving and swimming near our group. She looks over at us and says, ‘I live in your nightmares, then dove into the pool and we didn’t see her again.”

6. If you don’t already believe in ghosts…

“This happened about 3 years ago… I went on a vacation with my parents to go see some family in Calgary, Alberta. They were pretty young parents and had two kids, one 6 and the other 3. Both were born with pretty bad speech impediments and the six-year-old barely talked, while the three-year-old couldn’t.

Since they were at a good age for it, we decided to take the kids to Drumheller,(basically the whole town was dedicated to dinosaurs). One of the last stops of the day was to an old mine that had some houses that miners supposedly lived in. My parents and the three-year-old kid went into one building while I took the six-year-old with me. About halfway through the house he pointed at a closet and said, ‘Boy killed girl here.’ He was pretty young so I asked him what he meant, it was a big mistake. He elaborated, ‘Boy killed girl in the neck with a knife and put her in a closet. Boy left after.’

Needless to say I shit my pants and got the hell out of dodge. After we stopped in the gift shop however, I asked the cashier if there has ever been a haunting here and she told me that exact story. Sorry for any errors I’m on mobile and it was a while ago!”

5. I would have had to call my dad right away.

“I was working at a kids’ summer camp and had to go with this ~6-year-old boy to the bathroom.

While he was washing his hands, he looked at my while smiling and said ‘Is your dad dead?’ I looked at him and said ‘No. He’s not.’ Then the kid said ‘Well, why isn’t he?’ Wasn’t sure how to respond to that.”

4. Sure, or maybe she saw a ghost who ratted you out.

“Okay, so I used to volunteer at a really old nursing home for really old people. It was all-Japanese, so most of them had witnessed WWII, the oldest lady there was 105 at the time.

So I’m helping the other volunteers bring out food in the dining room, and another helper was this woman and her little daughter, maybe 8 or 9. The kid came up to me with a plate of food above her head, ’cause she was short and was trying to give it to me, who was taller. And she hands me this plate of rice and starts to turn around, but pauses to look at me, and asks,

‘How many times do you

give the poisonous foods to the people before they go die?’

… I don’t think she understood that the elderly people there died from their old age…and she probably thought they died because we gave them poisonous food.”

3. Yeah, no, we don’t cow to threats little girl.

“4-5 yr old came up to me and was pointing towards the arcade room, ‘come play with me.’ I said, ‘I’m busy, I’m sorry…. go ask (insert girl name)’ the little girl was like ‘if you don’t come play with me I’ll choke myself.’ …..

Then just stared at me. Then eventually left.”

2. I would 100% not be okay after this.

“I was on the bus and this little girl and her mom get on. She takes one look at me and bursts into inconsolable tears. Her mom is doing everything she can to make her stop, but all to no avail. Eventually the mom just says fuck it and takes the kid off the bus, but the kid starts wailing more, and says, ‘momma, don’t go, that girl is gonna die soon.’ I was a little sketched-out for the rest of the day.”

1. We all feel that way at some point or another.

“I was doing a placement in a primary school, working with 7-8-year-olds. A girl named Emily (lovely little demon-spawn. ginger hair, black eyes) looks up at me from her math work and:

DS: ‘I bet you’re tired of this boring old school.’

Me: ‘out of my fucking mind as you get older you realize school isn’t so bad, It is actually kind of fun.’

DS: ’Oh.”

A few seconds pass.

DS: ‘You’re going to die in a school.’

A little giggle passes through the other kids at the table. I’m left quietly trying to process the conversation logically.”

I’m freaking out, and I have no idea what I would have done in these situations. Argh!

What story would you add to this list? We want to hear about it in the comments!