When you’re an adult, there are things you take for granted that need to be done each day. You wash your face, you get dressed, you brush your teeth, you fix your hair – but if you’re a young child, any one of those things could be deemed torture at a moment’s notice.

I can’t fix everything all at once (or ever), but below are 5 pretty useful tips if your current battle includes convincing your little that brushing her/his hair isn’t some kind of elaborate plot to end their life, one tangled strand at a time.

5. Take turns.

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If your kid is still young enough to be engaging in regular power struggles (anyone under 4), part of the reason they’re putting up a fight is likely an effort to assert their independence.

Offer them the chance to take turns, even though it will add a few minutes to the process, and even if they’re not capable of doing the best job. The time you’ll save waiting out a tantrum will be worth it.

4. Work on your technique.

If your child has long hair, brush the ends first as you hold a handful near the scalp. That way, your child doesn’t experience that pulling sensation on their scalp – you know, the one that makes them scream bloody murder.

3. Familiarize yourself with their hair type.

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If your child has curly hair, brushing it probably isn’t the best option – you’ll want to use your fingers or a comb instead. If your child has fine hair that tangles easily, there’s a best-brush for that, too. Ask your hairdresser for advice if you’re having trouble figuring it out on your own.

2. Use a detangler.

If your kid is super sensitive and really hates the tugging of a brush, try a detangler. The brush will just slide through and it smells nice, too – chances are your child will like feeling fancy and like mom using the extra product, too.

1. Let them pick out their own tools.

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You know already that you child loves to have a say in their world – what they wear, what their bedroom looks like, who is on their toothbrush – so giving them some choices and control when it comes to their comb and brush can also make them feel more into the process.

A cute comb or brush makes everything easier, as we all know from experience.

There are many days when I’m happy to have boys who prefer short hair (as of today), but when I hear about hair-brushing struggles, that goes double.

Do you have a child who hates having their hair brushed? How do you deal with it?

If you have any extra tips, leave them in the comments!