Around 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage for a variety of reasons, most of which remain a mystery. Those numbers go up the older the parents involved, and with people waiting longer and longer to start families these days, there’s a good chance you know someone who has been through a pregnancy loss.
It’s common, is what I’m saying, but I promise that every one of these women who didn’t carry to term still felt what it was like to be pregnant, for however long.
This woman wanted to be a mother but suffered several losses, after which she realized her health was not going to allow her to carry to term. She’s made her peace with the situation.
Long story short I can’t carry to term. Any time I was pregnant resulted in a miscarriage/sudden loss, and one time it was at 24 weeks.
I’m okay with this. I’m not as maternal as I thought I would be, and am happy to be childfree, even if it was not by choice.
I understand these are the cards I was dealt.
When other women at work talk about their pregnancies, she chimes in – never mentioning that she doesn’t have any living children.
As such I keep mainly to myself. When we were working outside of home, three woman in my office became pregnant. I was more than happy to celebrate with them, etc well into their late terms, and celebrate when they had their kids too with gifts.
During these times we’d talk about pregnancy cravings, etc. Id talk about mine, and we’d laugh about it. Only one person in the office knew about my situation. Now thatbwe work from home we communicate basically through text, another is pregnant. And we started talking about it all again.
After doing this recently, a coworker who knows she only had miscarriages messaged her and told her she didn’t think OP should participate in these conversations, since she’s not a mom.
The one person who knows my situation in my office messaged me privately telling me to stop talking about when I was pregnant, because I’m not a mother and since I won’t be I shouldn’t contribute. Not gonna lie, truth kinda hurt but I understood why she said that.
However now I feel like the AH for ever talking about it, and maybe she’s right.
The “truth hurt,” but has OP wondering whether or not the other woman was right – should she “stay in her lane” and pretend she was never pregnant, even though she was?
I’m guessing Reddit has some pretty strong thoughts on this one!
OP was chiming in on what it felt like to be pregnant, not how to parent – which means the rude co-worker was the one out of line.
I think we can all agree that in no world is OP the a$$hole here.
tl;dr: Every pregnancy counts.
It really is this cut and dried.
The co-worker needs to be the one on this thread asking whether or not they’re TA – so we could all say yes.
I want to give this woman a hug, because she’s so strong she probably never asks for one, but also because she’s still sensitive enough to worry that she’s making other people uncomfortable.
What are your thoughts? Lay them out in the comments!