Look, we all have our challenges in life. It’s important to note that, if you do have a hairy behind and are looking for advice on how to keep it clean after a session on the toilet, you’re not alone.

I mean, would I be writing an article about it if there weren’t others out there looking for the same information?

It turns out it’s a totally normal question to have, especially as people get older and things like hair and sweat begin to appear in places and times where they definitely don’t belong.

Never fear, though – experts Dr. Nikola Djordjevic and registered dietician and Poop Problems Podcast producer Lisa Hugh are here to bring you up to speed.

Your Hair is There For a Reason

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Human beings have hair in places for reasons – and some fuzz on your booty is no exception, says Dr. Djordjevic.

“In terms of hygiene, hairless skin would be easier to clean. However, it can be uncomfortable, especially in cold weather. And, depending on how much hair you eliminate, you could risk exposing your testicles to extreme cold, and compromise the fertility of your sperm.”

No one wants that! (almost no one, I guess).

Hugh agrees, pointing out also that “more butt hair seems to muffle the sound of passing gas.”


Trim, Don’t Shave

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If the amount of hair on your behind makes you self-conscious or uncomfortable, both experts recommend a Brazilian wax or a trim rather than busting out the razor.

“Shaving will cause more itching and discomfort as the hair grows back. Waxing is associated with ingrown hairs. And chemical products can cause burns on the sensitive skin,” says Hugh.

Djordjevic agrees.

“I wouldn’t recommend shaving the hair altogether. But, using a beard trimmer or detail clipper will allow you to leave just enough hair to maintain and make manageable.

Moisturizers and Conditioners Are Your Friends

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Once you’ve trimmed (or waxed), Hugh suggests using medicated wipes, like ones that contain witch hazel, after a bowel movement. The witch hazel can calm irritated skin and having a bit of moisture while you wipe can help ensure cleanliness.

Dr. Djordjevic recommends using coconut oil.

“It is a natural antifungal and antibacterial all-in-one and will help hydrate the skin and make sure that bacteria has no chance of developing. Just make sure to apply it at night so that it can soak in well.”

Don’t Over Wipe

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The proper wiping techniques are important to make sure your booty is clean and healthy.

“The anus skin is protected by natural body oils that keep bacteria and harmful organisms out of your body,” says Hugh. “Too much wiping can cause skin irritation, open sores, and ultimately leave the area prone to infections from bacteria, anal warts, pin worms, fungus, yeast, and parasites.”

Yeah, nope to all of that.

Dr. Djordjevic suggests following the rule of three after a poo, which is to say that if three wipes with toilet paper doesn’t get it, you need to switch to something wet – a wipe or a shower.

Mind Your Diet

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As with everything as you get older, there’s not much that can’t be helped by maintaining a healthy diet. For Hugh, that means avoiding processed foods and artificial sweeteners, which “tend to promote overall growth of more problematic bacteria.

This can lead to poop that is more dangerous to the skin. Likewise, a diet that is low in fiber can lead to an unhealthy balance between good and bad bacteria.”

Dr. Djordjevic recommends “Adding more veggies, brown rice, and whole-grains is a good way to get a more solid stool. If you still have messy stools, try to use a bidet to clean, if you have access to one, or a bathtub with an extendable shower-head can do the trick.”

Well, there you have it, my fellow hairy friends. Tips and tricks and advice – far more than I ever would have thought necessary when I was a younger, smoother version of myself.

Did you find these tips helpful? Let us know in the comments!