Let’s just say at the outset that motherhood is hard. It’s hard when everything goes right, and when you end up dealing with things like postpartum depression, disagreements with your partner over how many kids to have, and feelings of lost identity, things can get even harder.
That said, most of us know on an intellectual level that our feelings and struggles have nothing to do with our children, that it’s not their fault they were born, and we try to shield them from the most hurtful of our feelings.
This woman, though, answered her 5YO honestly when she asked how many children OP (original poster) had wanted to have when she was little, and the mother answered “none,” and then proceeded to tell her daughter she hadn’t even wanted her.
Her husband was upset because he believed the daughter had been traumatized (maybe she had) but OP really doesn’t seem to see the big deal.
People on Reddit did, in fact, see the big deal.
Some were particularly harsh, reinforcing the husband’s ideas that she was a terrible mother.
There were people on the thread who’d had their parents say something similar, and they weighed in with sad stories.
More than a few people noticed that her marriage seems less than healthy (not that it excuses her).
Other’s noticed that it seemed as though she was depressed, and urged her to get help (while acknowledging her words were intentionally hurtful and she was the a**hole to her daughter).
Some made suggestions on how she could potentially make it better.
In an update, OP thanked everyone for their insight and input and said she planned to get help for her depression (and hopefully her controlling husband) so that she could be a better mother.
I certainly hope she does, for the sake of everyone involved.
This is a no-win situation if you ask me, and also proof that you can be the a**hole but also be a sympathetic figure.
What do you think? Tell us your thoughts in the comments!