We spend a third of our lives working. It’s only natural that sometimes, we screw up at work. Maybe we’re trying to do too many things at once, and a wire gets crossed in our brain. Or maybe we’re not even at work, but the job follows us into our personal lives and we blurt out something that makes us sound crazy. We’ve all done it, and we’ve all seen someone else do it. To err at work is human.
There’s no use getting upset when you make a brain fart at work. It’s best to laugh about it and move on. In that spirit, here are 15 work brain farts that brought an unexpected smile to everyone’s day. (via Bored Panda)
1. Customer “Service”
“I have two jobs: one at a coffee shop, and one at a sex shop. Once while ringing up someone at the sex shop I accidentally asked ‘For here or to go?’ The look on their face was priceless. Thank god they didn’t choose ‘for here!!’” – Shelby Abrahamian
2. Putting the “fun” in “funeral.”
“I used to babysit a lot, usually the parents were going out, doing something fun. One time i was sitting so the parents could go ta a funeral. As they were leaving, I said what I usually say, ‘Have fun!’” – Meghan Hewitt
3. What’s in these cucumbers?
“Working in a grocery store and having customers complain about the price of organic fruit and telling them ‘It’s more because it’s orgasmic.’” – Malorie Moure
4. The Ego Trip
“I have a great conversation with a new client and at the end of the conversation realizing I hadn’t even said my name, meant to say ‘I’m Amber, thanks for the awesome conversation’ but it just came out as ‘I’m awesome’ as I’m shaking his hand. Coworkers started introducing me as that to new and old clients.” – Amber Thorpe
5. Pavlov’s Cashier
“I used to work at a place where you had to greet people when the door chimed and YEARS after quitting i was in a gas station that had the same chime and as I was in line to buy my road trip snacks I found myself greeting random other customer. Pavlov wasn’t kidding.” – Aimee Snow
6. Hold Me
“I worked in retail for a long time, and one day we were super busy and I was a little frazzled. The phone rang and I was half way between saying, ‘can you hold’ and ‘can I place you on hold,’ and instead just said “can I hold you?’” – Liz Wilsker
7. Automatic Knocking Syndrome
“I’m a nurse at a hospital, and it was ingrained in us to knock on the patient’s door before entering (plus it’s just polite, people are barging in and out of patient’s rooms all day). So after working three twelves, I went through the motions of unlocking my door to my house, running upstairs to strip off my scrubs, and my husband just looked at me with the biggest smile on his face after I got my pajamas on. Little did I know, I knocked on my own door before coming in, knocked on my bedroom door, knocked on my bathroom door, and my closet door all without realizing what the hell I was doing. Talk about being automatic!” – commanderfraya
8. And that’s how I met my husband!
“I was at work and had to make a super important phone call but kept getting interrupted and I was afraid I was going to forget to do it so in my head I kept repeating ‘Gotta make the call, gotta make the call.’ Well then then this really hot guy walked up to the counter so I went up to him to say ‘Hi can I help you?’ But what came out was ‘Hi can I call you?’ He froze, I froze, we both wordlessly agreed that it never happened and went about with our interaction.
And then I forgot to make the call.” – Stephanie McClure
9. This one doesn’t qualify as a “work” story only if you don’t consider parenting a job.
“A friend of mine was stay-at-home mom with toddlers. At a dinner party one night, while talking to the stranger next to her, she found herself cutting the meat on his plate. He looked rather surprised, but ate it.” – Bored Panda
10. Teacher Mode: Activated
“Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered ‘Please open your books to page eight,’ and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.” – icouldwritebooks
11. Livin’ On A Prayer
One time during family prayer, Dad began: “Our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?” – mugsandpugs
12. Someone’s dealt with a few too many rude customers.
“One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?’
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.” – thomrainierskies
13. Well that’s a lawsuit.
“I’m a supervisor and one day an agent needed help. He came to my office and said ‘Hey do you have a sec?’ Without even thinking I reply back with ‘I have all the sec’s for you.’ I turned bright red and tried to pull it back and say Time! I have all the Time for you!!” – Lizzy Murphy
“Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said ‘Welcome to McDonalds’ and then just sighed.”
15. This is Dr. Candy. She’ll be performing your physical to the tune of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me.”
“I used to work for a healthcare company that is frequently located in strip malls. Will never forget the time that I told a prospective employee that our offices are usually located in strip clubs.” – Robin Byrne