There’s a moment in every child’s life when they realize their parents aren’t some kind of superhero or alien being that’s better than them, but simply a human who makes mistakes and – gasp! – had an entire life before they were born.
It can be an eye-opening, life-changing moment for many of us, but not necessarily in a bad way.
Which is more than these 17 people can say after learning secrets their parents were keeping for very, very good reasons.
17. At least you know their sex life is alive.
“Their huge ass-stash of condoms and a pair of dice with different sex positions and where to do it.”
16. I guess he has no room to lecture anymore.
“My dad smokes weed and I recently found out.
I went over to my friends house for a party and people were smoking. I never knew what weed smelled like until I went to that party and it dawned on me that my dad smelled just like that house almost all the time. Day after the party I found his stash. As far as I know he only smokes in his bathroom or when I’m at school.”
15. This makes my heart hurt.
“My mother is unaware that I am fully capable of hearing her many phone calls to her friends in which she complains about what a horrible disrespectful daughter she has.”
14. This is hilarious, because why?
“my dad plays this game called wordscapes and he looks up cheats. i just pretend to act surprised when he shows me how fast he finishes the levels.”
13. Maybe she’s ashamed of how much she’s on there?
“My mom always tells my wife and I that she completely quit using Facebook, but she doesn’t realize that everyone can see her posts and comments, and she is on there everyday. I have no idea why she is trying to keep it a secret.”
12. This is sad.
“I found out about a year after the fact that my parents hit one of my dogs with their car. They buried him the same evening. Told me he must have run away.
Only found out because one of my dad’s friends happened to witness it (he was waitingfor my parents in his car in front of our house), and he let it slip during dinner.”
I don’t know why they lied, I guess tried to spare my feelings, but I either way was convinced my dog died after he was missing for a couple of days (he would sometimes spend the night in our neighbour’s yard, but was never gone longer than that), so it was a pointless cover-up.”
11. So scary for kids to know!
“That we might be going broke.”
10. That’s a super weird thing to lie about, isn’t it?
“Mom told me she got her tubes tied after she had my sister. She told me this when I had questions about babies when I was younger.
Anyway, 20 years later she became pregnant again. I asked her about it and she insisted that she got her tubes tied, and that the surgery was botched and wasn’t 100% effective (true).
My dad (divorced about 18 years ago from my mom) found out from me about the baby. I forget specifically how the conversation went. I told him something along the lines of, “wow, it must suck getting your tubes tied after [sister] was born only to get pregnant 20 years later.” He laughed.
I asked him why he laughed and he asked “did she really tell you that? She didn’t want her tubes tied after your sister, so I got a vasectomy instead.” I also had a good laugh. Not sure why she’d lie about something so small, but if it means that much to her, then I won’t say anything.”
9. Getting old is so hard on some.
“I accidentally overheard a phone call between my mum and my grandma. Turns out my grandpa had tried to run away from the residential home in the middle of the night. He had also told my uncle that he wished he died and that they stole his money and so on.
He’s better now though, but my parents still doesn’t know that I know this.”
8. Strange thing to know about your parents…
“They have a LOT of sex toys and sex related stuff. They think i do not know, but i do.”
7. Dad needs some serious help.
“The reason for my parents divorce (turns out it was because I’m a girl and not a boy like my dad wanted) and the fact that my dad just ended his 5th marriage. He says it’s only his second.”
6. I mean, it’s still true either way.
“My dad says he met my mother becuase my mother’s sister introduced them, but I”m pretty sure my dad was actually dating my mother’s sister first.”
5. That’s the understatement of the year.
“My dad is cheating on his fiance with a co-worker and is cheating on both of them with said co-worker’s ex-husband.
He’s a dirty old man.”
4. I am wrinkling my nose so hard.
“My dad had a lot of porn on his computer and some DVDs on the movie shelf. He was bad at hiding it. He gave me his old desktop once because I needed a computer for homework. There was so much porn on it. It was like 72% porn. I had that computer for five years, and it was 86% free space the whole time.
I honestly can’t even imagine how much porn was actually on there. When he gave it to me I just deleted everything without looking and cleaned the keyboard, mouse, and screen.
The whole computer was sticky. He should have at least deleted his shit before giving the computer to his twelve year old child.”
3. That’s quite a way to find out.
“ohhh god okay.
recently i was checked into a mental health centre for various reasons, and part of it was that i had to have a few assessments done. so the woman coming to assess me comes into the room, we sit and chat for a couple of minutes before she pulls out my file.
first thing i hear is her mutter to herself “so this is the girl who’s adopted…” or something along those lines. seconds later she meets my eyes and all the colour drains out of her face. in hindsight it explains a lot really.”
2. That is terrifying as a kid.
“My dad almost had an affair but he backed out right before my mom caught him, she was considering divorce but she didn’t go through because of me and my brother, I only know because I overheard them at night.”
1. Be honest with your kiddos.
“My mom never told me I had Aspergers (Autism.) She full well knew but never told me, I think she might’ve been in denial herself. When I got kicked out at 16(pregnant) I looked into my school files and saw it said I had Aspergers. I have been going to therapy. 4 years later when I was finally talking with my mom again she said “you didn’t even know so it’s not a problem.”
Me always feeling weird like something is off from others could’ve been prevented. I did everything to fit in thats what led me to feel like an outcast. I was the popular girl at school and I was doing stuff I shouldn’t just to fit in. If my mom would’ve just tell me I probably wouldn’t of done drugs or get pregnant.”
If my parents have any skeletons like these in the closet, I sincerely hope they stay there forever!
Has this happened to you?
We want to hear the story in the comments!