If there’s one thing I know for sure about parenting, it’s that you need to take every single offered opportunity to pelt your children with harmless objects.

Harmless delicious objects? There is no answer other than yes.

Sure, our kids are adorable and sweet, but they are also, at the same time, demons who are ashamed of us and want to make our decision to procreate hurt.

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I came home to this. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I had to do slow-mo so you can actually see all the cheese balls. #CheeseBallMachineGun #NotWeirdAtAll #DoesntEveryoneHaveOne #ThatsOurLeafBlower #YesTheyAreTryingToCatchThem #NotMomApproved #fostercare #fostertoadopt #adoptionjourney #adoption #hecallsmemom #notyouraveragefosterfamily

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Which is to say, the only way to stay sane through those middle years is to give it back to them, 100%.

This pretty amazing cheeseball projectile machine is the brainchild of DIY science geniuses Night Hawk Projects. It utilizes, mostly, a standard-issue leaf blower and a Costco-sized barrel of cheese balls.

Because the family size at the grocery store just isn’t going to cut it.

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CHEESEBALL MACHINE GUN? #WhatTheBleep Want to see more awesome things? Check out my youtube channel in my bio! Amazing work by NightHawkInLight! #WhatTheBleep #cheeseballmachinegun #HowTo #AmazingPeople #news

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You can build this yourself with just a few pieces of PVC tubing, some epoxy, and a dremel or sander to carve one essential component – a wedge that incorporates some fluid dynamics to create a vacuum in the gun barrel. The plans come with a clear, concise video so you don’t have to be an engineer or understand concepts like “fluid dynamics” to make it work (whew!).

You just have to love cheeseballs, and assaulting your kids with orange-dusted corn chips.

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Wilmapalooza Christmas 2016 #cheeseballmachinegun #wilmhoffbedandbreakfast @nwilmhoff @bare.table #merica🇺🇸 #christmasinkentucky #buddytheelf

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And I mean really…who doesn’t?

Please, please give this a shot and report back with your successes (and images of the carnage).

I’m literally on the edge of my seat.