Ask any comedian and they’ll tell you that jokes are usually funny because they’re at least somewhat true. It’s why we laugh – we can commiserate and really get the heart and soul of the joke.
And if you are or ever have been married, you’ll realize right away this is why these 13 tweets are so funny.
13. Thank goodness for YouTube.
How did people learn things before the internet?
Me: You’re SURE you know how to cut hair?
Wife: I told you I watched a YouTube video pic.twitter.com/ZaQsTwb3dw
— Son of Dad (@ThugRaccoons) May 23, 2020
12. No one knows the answer to that right now.
And also we don’t care.
Husband: What is today?
Me: I’m in no mood for your riddles today.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) June 4, 2020
11. Different kinds of pasta, too.
You can fight about anything if you’re bored and petty enough.
Definitely get married so you too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) June 10, 2020
10. An unfortunate side effect of spending too much time together.
He shouldn’t have realized until they were both in their fifties and too tired to leave.
This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize I’m not out of his league.
— Rachel (@RachelNoise) April 13, 2020
9. Yeah definitely plead the fifth on that.
There’s no point in discussing it, because this is our reality now.
Me: are you sleeping?
Wife: no.
Me: if you knew we’d be quarantined, would you still have married me?
Wife: actually I am sleeping.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 21, 2020
8. This probably shouldn’t be funny…
But it’s definitely hilarious.
[hears husband calling me from the bathroom]
*turns up the tv*
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 5, 2020
7. My husband is both of these people.
Does this mean I win or lose?
My husband hasn’t turned his TV off in 2 months but he’s gonna gripe at me for not turning out a light when I leave the room, yeah okay.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) May 15, 2020
6. You have to pick your battles, I guess.
She’s just not into that argument.
My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) May 21, 2020
5. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
It’s like how I dream of the day my kids will go to school.
Husband: Tell me a fantasy of yours.
Me: So you go back to the office for work.
Husband: And?
Me: And?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 26, 2020
4. I mean I would, too.
And I also want to know how this is possible.
My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now I’m worried I married a witch
— DadBroDad (@DadBroDad1) May 21, 2020
3. Trust me, she doesn’t have one.
She’s riding this wave for as long as possible.
My wife won’t tell me what her reopening plan is.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 11, 2020
2. She’s living with a pod person.
No one wants to see his fit a** when this is over.
Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since we’ve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 24, 2020
1. Sounds more like luck than anything.
But yeah…you need plenty of that.
{On the phone with my mom}
Me: What’s your secret to 55 years of marriage?
Mom: We never hated each other on the same day.
— gⓗⓓ (@GingerHotDish) May 26, 2020
I’m here for all of these – so funny!
Which one of these was the truest for you? Tell us in the comments!