There are too many great things about parenthood to name, and way to many feelings to talk about or try to pin down in a quick post. The full human experience contains multitudes, but lucky for all of us who have decided to tackle parenthood, there’s one thing that’s true about kids across the board – they’re hilarious.
These moms are having great days, because they’ve got something to tweet about that everyone wants to hear – funny kid stories.
And now we’re gonna share them with you. So let’s go get some laughs!
11. One more question? I don’t believe that.
And here we go for hours…
5yo: Just one more question before I go to bed.
Me: What?
5yo: What are the lines on your forehead for?
Me:…
5yo: Now they look angry.— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) March 15, 2016
10. Leg nipples?
Yes, leg nipples.
Overheard from the other room:
4: Hey, look at my leg nipples!
6: They’re called knees.
4: Leg nipples!!
6: Knees.
4: LEG NIPPLES, LEG NIPPLES!!
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) March 4, 2021
9. That’s definitely one thing adults do.
And ok it is pretty fun.
My 2yo said she is a grown up. I told her she isn't, that she is a toddler. She replied, "No, I'm a grown up. I'm going to touch knives."
— jess (retired) (@jessokfine) June 29, 2015
8. He’s not wrong.
These are deep thoughts, people!
Nobody:
Not one soul:
My 5 years old: If the word birds started with T they’d be called turds.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) February 6, 2021
7. Bless his heart.
That is not the way to happiness, friend.
Me:"Sweetie, what do you say when you do something wrong?"
4yo: "I didn't do that!"
— Kathy Cooperman (@Kathy_Cooperman) April 4, 2016
6. Asking the important questions.
They’re cool, but not that cool.
My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: "can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) January 23, 2016
5. Wow. That’s a truth bomb.
Honesty is not always the best policy.
My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included "I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence."
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) April 27, 2016
4. Why do they do this??
And why is it so dang funny every time?
5yo: "Mommy, what does 'paying it forward' mean?"
I start explaining it as she watches me, occasionally nodding.
Me: "…so, do you understand what it means?"
5yo: "Last night I had a dream that a hot dog could talk to me."
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) January 25, 2021
3. Hey, man, it happens to the best of us.
I’m sure those people on the call have done it, too.
best part of working from home is having your 5y/o run in while you're on a conference call and cry "I accidentally peed in the wrong place"
— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 9, 2017
2. What do you even say to that?
Sometimes you just have to concede.
I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, "I'm NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I've been whispering. Now I'm free!"
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) December 21, 2013
1. It’s gonna be the other way around, bucko.
Just you wait and see.
6yo: I hope you live forever.
Me: Oh that’s sweet.
6yo: Because even when I’m an old man I’m going to ask you to wipe my butt.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) September 3, 2019
These kinds of posts make me so happy! Kids are hilarious and I love them for it.
Share more funny kid moments with me in the comments, please!