This Mommy Blogger Ignited a Huge Debate When She Referred to Cribs As “Baby Jails”

If you’re a mom and somehow unaware of a) how vicious the mommy blogger world is and b) how dearly moms hold onto their beliefs about sleep training (or not sleep training), then honestly, I envy you.

Sleep training – whether or not to do it, how to do it, whether you’re terrible if you do or too soft if you don’t, is a debate that rages on and on and on.

Women on both sides have dug in, and while one side is probably more well-rested, neither are going to change their positions.

Which blogger and TikTok user @comingupfern must have known when she posted a video about how she doesn’t put her 5mo in a crib.

“If you look at a typical American nursery, you will notice that it’s set up for the parent’s benefit — not the child’s. All of the artwork is usually up high where babies can’t even see it.”

She goes on to call cribs “little baby jail cells” and say that using them is “inhumane.”

“We literally buy these little baby jail cells so that we can just leave our baby in there and walk away. I don’t have a crib because I will never enforce my baby to have a bedtime. Babies are people too and forcing anyone to sleep when they’re not tired is inhumane.”

Then she goes one-step further, comparing putting a baby in a crib to a partner locking you in a room.

“Imagine if your partner locked you into a container you couldn’t get out of and told you you had to sleep even though you weren’t tired. That would be abuse and you’d probably leave them. Kids deserve the right to bodily autonomy like we do.”

HER baby sleeps in a floor bed she can use when she feels like it, and leave when she doesn’t.

Here’s the full video:

https://www.tiktok.com/@comingupfern/video/6916992664307109125?is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=1

Other moms were quick to point out that this is not a sleep training post, really, or even one about giving your child choices when you’re able – it’s about safety, and about your job to teach your baby about things like sleeping when they’re tired.

And that cribs exist to keep babies safe, as well as contained.

Babies need schedules and structure, not only for our convenience, but for their developing brains.

They need sleep, even if they don’t want it. They need a safe place to do it, even if it has bars on it.

this is a big yikes. babies don’t have all the self-regulatory mechanisms developed yet to determine “i feel tired” = “i should close my eyes and go to sleep.” adults *have* to help children learn how to take care of themselves by creating an environment for good sleep.

— alecia lynn eberhardt-smith (@alecialynn) January 17, 2021

Discussions around how to sleep train a baby, or whether or not it’s harmful are not this – this is saying it’s not your job as a parent to be a parent, and to do what’s best for your child, even if they don’t like it.

I say we check back in with this lady when her daughter is, say, fourteen.

I bet (I hope) it will be a whole different ball game.