Relationships are tough to navigate in the best of times, and for most of us, a breakup has at least one silver lining – you’ll never have to see, speak to, or deal with that person ever again.

If you have children with someone, though, that luxury goes right out the window.

Barring death or the other person ending up in jail, you’ll have to find a way to work together to raise your children – truly for better or worse.

These 10 people give us a glimpse behind the curtain and share what that looks like for them.

10. Being a good parent isn’t easy.

You have to work to make it look that way, and to keep everyone happy.

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9. It has to be tough when there’s a weird power dynamic.

But of course your kids don’t need to take sides.

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8. Remember it’s not a competition.

Your kids will thrive with good relationships with both parents.

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7. You’ll figure it out in time.

Hopefully they’ll be able to verbalize their wishes soon.

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6. You can’t focus on you anymore.

It has to be all about the kids.

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5. It can take time to get to a good place.

Be kind to yourself; you’re healing too.

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4. Sometimes you have to bite your own tongue nearly all the way off.

It’s not your business anymore.

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3. The right person will get it.

You don’t want anyone who doesn’t understand the kids come first.

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2. It can be a really eye-opening experience.

You’ve grown, and that’s never a bad thing.

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1. Don’t take the unsolicited advice of a third party.

They don’t know your relationship and they don’t know your kids.

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This sounds so hard, y’all, but the resulting happy kids can be totally worth it.

What’s your take on coparenting? If you’ve got experience, tell us how you manage it in the comments!