Motherhood is no joke, y’all. From that very first pregnancy test, when you’re already sore, possibly throwing up, and unable to have blessed caffeine to the actual labor and delivery, and then, you know…the rest of your life, it can feel like an uphill climb.
Those of us who are able to laugh at it – whether the jokes are brutal and real or just hilariously on point – are much more likely to get through it all relatively unscathed (and also without a drinking problem).
So come along and have a laugh with these 11 truly hilarious mamas.
11. You want them to be inquisitive.
But not before you’ve finished that first cup of coffee.
Some days you feel like you could easily win a parenting trophy. Other days you find yourself having to answer question like “do octopuses have nipples?” before you’ve had adequate caffeine.
— The Mommy Memeoirs (@mommymemeoirs) June 29, 2020
10. It’s truly the ultimate test.
Especially because most of the time they have no idea what they’re trying to say.
I always thought I'd be a patient mom.
And then I had to listen to my son tell a story.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 1, 2020
9. Are you prepared?
Because honestly none of us were.
Unless you are prepared for someone to yell "MOMMY, I HAVE A TAIL!" and then show you a sock wedged between their little buttcheeks, you are not ready for motherhood.
Heed my warning
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) June 27, 2020
8. I mean, it’s still kind of a win.
They were playing together nicely, after all.
7. There are always rocks in your purse.
And definitely something sticky.
My daughter wanted to keep a few rocks from the lake, but I said no, and anyway that's why there are rocks in my purse.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) July 3, 2020
6. Doesn’t it just?
I think we could all do with a few more villagers.
Does anyone have directions to that village everyone says will raise my children?
It sounds wonderful.
— Not Your Trending Mom (@notyrtrendngmom) July 2, 2020
5. Can we make this a thing?
Who do we have to see?
If listening to your kid tell a story burned calories, I’d be invisible.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 13, 2020
4. See also: bribery in general.
It may not be ideal, but man, does it usually work.
A surprising amount of parenting is bribing your kids with things you don’t want to do, then breathing a sigh of relief when they mess it up so you don’t have to deliver.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) June 28, 2020
3. Pretending to care is exhausting.
I know, their mental health and self esteem yada yada.
I always thought I’d be a patient mom, but I don’t like who I become 30 seconds into my son’s guided tour of his Minecraft village.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 1, 2020
2. Half the time you can’t even find the lids to try to save them.
It would probably be too late anyway.
Having kids is a great idea if you’ve ever looked at your markers and thought “if only they were a bit drier…”
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) June 25, 2020
1. We knew it all.
Then we found out we don’t know anything, and in a few years our kids will become teens and they will know it, too.
I’m not saying parenthood is hard, I’m just saying I was a LOT better at it before I had kids.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 2, 2020
I want to be friends with every one of these woman, no lie.
What’s your favorite way to cope with your longer days? Share your tips with us in the comments!