Dads get all of the credit when it comes to jokes and being funny, but the truth is, Moms are funny, too – their humor is just a little bit different, that’s all.
We’re a tad bit more real, a small bit sarcastic, and all around just favor brutality over puns – so sue us!
If that kind of humor is right up your alley, throw those bad jokes out the window and come over to the dark side with these 13 brutally funny laughs.
13. This right here is a protip.
Do it and just see if I’m right.
Parenting hack: Tell much lamer bedtime stories than your spouse so that your children will ask for them instead of you every night.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) June 30, 2020
12. This is a foolproof plan.
I injure myself on them daily.
Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 29, 2020
11. It’s the same concept, really.
One is just a bit smeller to linger around.
Have you ever stared at the clouds and picked shapes or pictures out of them?
Well, my 4yo does that with her turds .
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 1, 2020
10. I know exactly how she feels.
Leave that baby alone!
my daughter threw a tantrum because she felt it was too early to be spoken to and it really is a miracle that we create little versions of ourselves
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 2, 2020
9. Why are there so many toys?
I mean, I know I’m to blame you don’t have to bring it up.
The kids were bored so I suggested they play with any of the 8000 toys we have in the house and then we all laughed as I turned on Netflix
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 3, 2020
8. Your food is not yours.
This is an extreme example but honestly not a surprise.
My 4yo grabbed the egg off my egg and cheese sandwich, put it on her plate, took a bite of it and then grabbed the rest in her hand, squeezed it shut and handed it back to me saying she didn’t want it anymore. And this… THIS, is why I can’t have nice things.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) July 2, 2020
7. It’s ok to have feelings.
But we’re all tired of you crying over every little thing, too.
My 4YO fell off his scooter, and before I could help him, he stood up, dusted off, and whispered to himself, “shake it off big dawg.”
I’ve never been more confused about whether something was a parenting win or fail.
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) July 1, 2020
6. It’s fun for everyone!
Except for Mom, but no one cares.
Have kids so they can do things like smack your thigh and yell:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 5, 2020
5. Yes, just the three.
That is my final answer, Your Honor.
4. They will argue about literally anything.
It is their duty as siblings.
My daughter is crying because her sister farted and I sprayed air freshener before she had a chance to sniff it. I’m raising savages.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) July 3, 2020
3. The struggle is real.
Hey, let’s make marriage even HARDER, yeah?
2. Someday they will learn the truth.
But not today.
"Sorry I don't make the rules" I say blatantly lying to my child about a rule I just made up.
— Avocado Mama (@HeatherStenwall) July 2, 2020
1. If she has she’s forgotten what it’s like.
It happens to the best of us, I suppose.
These ladies are my people, y’all.
If they’re your people, too, let us know in the comments which of these was your favorite!