There are certainly things that no one tells you about being a parent until you learn it for yourself, but I’m not sure if this is on purpose, or if there are things you’ll just never understand until you’re standing in those white New Balance sneaks yourself.
If you’re listening, there are parents out there who aren’t pulling any punches with the harsh (but hilarious) truth – and we think we’ve got 11 great examples below.
11. Time to talk about an inside voice.
They have no idea what they want or how they’re feeling most of the time.
My child that just screamed at me for 15 minutes to go away is now screaming for me to come lay down with him, parenting is fun
— Yard Dad (@IAmYardDad) October 14, 2021
10. Mmm, nice and flabby.
Why don’t they make bedding out of skin flab?
When my daughter cuddles with me she likes to rest her head on my arm because "it's softer than a pillow," in case you're feeling bad about your physique today.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 12, 2021
9. A missed opportunity for sure.
It’s not too late, though. Shall we vote?
Why did they call it a diaper blowout and not a shituation.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) October 14, 2021
8. They really gouge you on those things.
You feel like a terrible parent if you just opt out.
I’m looking for a school picture package that’s more than 4 wallets and less than 54 wallets & a wall mural.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 13, 2021
7. The worst part is, he probably believes that.
Sweet, summer child.
It’s just not a big deal, said my clearly delusional husband when he switched the kid’s lunch boxes
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 14, 2021
6. They’re so proud of themselves.
The kids are going to be the first to go in the robot uprising. No respect.
Nobody is more drunk with power than a 6-year-old telling Alexa to do anything.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 9, 2021
5. They’re not so good at keeping secrets.
Which is honestly a feature most days.
5-year-old: Can I have tape?
Me: What do you need to tape?
5: Not my hair back on.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2021
4. That day comes for all of us.
Time to develop some thick skin.
no one warned me that some day my sweet little babies would look at the meals i worked so hard to make and call them disgusting before they even tasted them
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 18, 2021
3. It can’t look any worse than my normal getup.
Because obviously I’ve given up.
When I forget about the little makeover my kids gave me and leave to run errands pic.twitter.com/olqYE6Ynxk
— Yelisa (@motherplaylist) October 12, 2021
2. Who’s gonna tell him?
After you let him have the win for at least a few minutes, I mean.
“I call it orange soda cause it’s orange and soda”
-My 4yo inventing orange soda
— Mom Meh (@mommeh_dearest) October 11, 2021
1. A chip off the old block…
But your own tiny psyche is making you nervous.
My daughter just asked me to go in a corn maze with her, and now she is telling me stories about serial killers, and if I don't make it out she is definitely my favorite child and also probably the killer
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) October 10, 2021
I mean, these are really great examples of “funny because it’s true,” right?
Which one are you for sure going to pass along to a parent friend? Tell us in the comments!