No one really thought the first day of a new year was going to wipe the whole horrible slate clean, right? It’s a nice idea, but 24 hours late we’re all still dealing with the stuff we were handling yesterday.
12. What is the world coming to?
You never thought you would be here, I know.
My kids are such picky eaters that today I told them I was proud of them for eating McDonalds chicken nuggets.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) January 3, 2021
11. Embarrassing your kids is your right.
Some days it’s the only thing getting us out of bed.
My favorite thing right now is calling air pods ‘air buds’ in front of my daughter and her friends.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 5, 2021
10. I feel like this is some kind of metaphor for life.
Or maybe just for my life.
What it’s like riding with a teenager learning how to drive:
Flew over the speed bump at normal speed because she thought it was supposed to slow her down.
The next try she slowed down too much and didn’t make it over.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) January 4, 2021
9. It was the only fair thing to do.
For everyone except her waistline.
There was 15 Oreo cookies left, so to give each of my 4 children the same, I was forced to eat 11 of them.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 7, 2021
8. And we just do it.
We’re tired, ok?
you can’t tell me what to do. you’re not my 3 year old.
— dan (@dadopotamus) January 2, 2021
7. I’ve never understood that saying.
Do…do some babies sleep?
I’ve been sleeping like a baby this week!*
*waking up every 2 hours
— Rachel Dratch (@TheRealDratch) January 4, 2021
6. The important things.
Be impressed with their reading comprehension and move on.
9yo: sometimes it’s ok to swear
9yo: like when Mrs Weasley uses the b-word in the last Harry Potter book
9yo: but it wasn’t ok when Aunt Marge used it in the third book
Me: do you have a catalogue in your brain of all the times bitch was said in Harry Potter
9yo: … yes
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) January 5, 2021
5. That’s going to be awkward tomorrow.
And the next time she tries to convince them it’s going to snow.
The weatherman said there was 0% chance of snow this week so to get my kids to fall asleep last night, I promised to take them sledding today. Because I’m a fun mom who plans ahead.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) January 6, 2021
4. Yes, you have to take them.
It’s what you signed up for when you definitely didn’t sign anything.
Parenting isn't really a test, it's more an unrelenting series of pop quizzes that you had no clue were coming and are in no way prepared for.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 5, 2021
3. There are no prisoners in Mario Kart.
And no family. Every man for himself.
Accidentally told my kid to eat shit while I was kicking his ass at Mario Kart so if you need more parenting tips, I got you fam.
— Live Laugh Unhinged 🚮 (@kaL12578) January 6, 2021
2. Not all lessons come back around.
But some of them do.
So as it turns out, teaching your kids how to lose that game of Candy Land gracefully was a much more important lesson than you probably realized at the time.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 7, 2021
1. That’s their guinea pig now.
I hope they’re very happy together.
Thoughts with the parent at my son’s school who offered to have the class guinea pig over the Xmas holidays & is now in for the long haul
— Will Wood 💙 (@MMWillWood) January 4, 2021
We’ve got to keep laughing, because what’s the alternative?
Tell me down in the comments which one of these helped you forget nothing has changed!