Cream rises to the top, but with so many hilarious parents giving us their best humor on Twitter every single day, it can still be hard to skim off the very best ones all by yourself.
That’s where we come in – and these 11 tweets are really some of the ones you shouldn’t miss this week.
11. Time for a life lesson.
Make a list of things Mommy doesn’t want to do every day.
When I ask my 3 year old to do something he keeps saying “I can but I don’t want to” and to be fair I wish I had that kind of confidence
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 1, 2020
10. Subtle but important difference.
If you say so, Dad.
Me: get off that Xbox, it's too violent
Son: what can we play instead?
Me: come sit down. this is hangman, an educational, family-friendly game where you get executed if you're dumb
— The Dad (@thedad) October 18, 2020
9. It’s almost like he’s…not human.
I’m just saying.
My 3 year old calls people “humans” as in, “what is that human doing in that car?” And it’s creepy in the most adorable way.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) October 30, 2020
8. Wait until you’re 40.
Things are downhill from here.
I want to be more optimistic about aging but my 5 year old just found out I am 30 today and now she’s claiming the jewelry she wants to have when I’m dead.
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) October 24, 2020
7. We know these consequences all too well.
And yet we keep buying Legos.
At my house we don’t play the floor is lava. We play the floor is legos and there’s real consequences when you misstep.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 29, 2020
6. Way too early for any conversation at all, tbh.
Why do they want to talk before coffee?
Child [coming out of bedroom]: What language do babies think in?
Me [rubbing temples]: it's way too early for this
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 17, 2020
5. It can go either way.
Depends on what else has been going on that day.
50% of parenting a toddler is deciding if the object they're about to break is worth getting up off the couch
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) October 27, 2020
4. Plus all of the song and dance numbers.
That’s got to be a bonus.
watching annie with the kids and now they want me to put them in an orphanage so a wealthy person can adopt them
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 17, 2020
3. It’s the best show there is.
According to anyone under the age of 10.
spent 20 minutes getting my kids to agree on a tv show then they all followed me into the bathroom and watched me pee instead
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) November 2, 2020
2. You really can’t expect anything else.
Definitely doing it right.
I showed the kids how to do some algebra today, and now one boy is sobbing and the other is hiding under the table. Nailed it.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) November 2, 2020
1. It’s not a long list.
And none of it is fresh.
8-year-old: What are we having for dinner?
Me: I don't know. What's something you won't complain about?
8: I'll get back to you.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 2, 2020
Parenting can be a universal experience in some ways, don’t you think? After all… we were all children. Even if we don’t have children ourselves, we understand that dynamic of at least being around parents and seeing their struggles firsthand… because we’re causing them. 😉
So that’s our hot take! What’s yours? Which of these have you already shared with a friend?
Tell us below in the comments!