Kids are adorable and they make our lives worthwhile and stuff, but also, they do some hilariously dumb stuff. And listen, it’s not their fault, really. We all have to learn somehow, and when you’re small and don’t know much, trial and error seems as good a way as any to figure it out.
Which is why we’re all treated to 13 tweets like these, and we can all laugh at the dumb things other people’s kids have done.
That way, we don’t have to clean it (or them) up afterward.
13. And sure, there are moments you regret that.
But then you look at her sleeping and all is right with the world.
12. I mean, he wants to believe that you’re innocent.
But probably just because he doesn’t know who will fix him dinner if you go to jail.
I’m writing a condolence card. Gregory (5) asks what I’m doing. “I’m writing a note to say how sorry I am that my friend’s mom died,” I say.
He pauses for a VERY fraught moment and then asks, oh so tentatively
“…that’s just to be kind, right? You’re not the one who did it?”
— Miriel Thomas Reneau (@mirielmargaret) May 16, 2020
11. That will ruin your lunch.
At least it’s fairly easy to make more coffee. You’re going to need it.
2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?”
Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.”
2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?”
It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..
— Steve 🏳️🌈 (@papaneedscoffee) January 28, 2020
10. This tweet is going to age so, so well.
It’s definitely coming out at birthday parties, graduation, and definitely his wedding.
I just want everyone to know that my two-year old insisted on being “pants” for Halloween… pic.twitter.com/ONR7K4AxnY
— Jeffrey Bien (@jungleland) October 31, 2019
9. Maybe he or she is just trying to give you perspective?
I mean, it didn’t work, but still.
While the world is fighting over TP, my toddler is giving ours a bath. from KidsAreFuckingStupid
8. Because just one of those antics wasn’t enough.
This kid is go big or go home, for sure.
Today my son drew in red marker all over his face then got scared that we’d be mad so he tried to hide it by wrapping toilet paper around his head like a mummy. Then he promptly ran into a wall and nearly knocked himself unconscious. A comedy of errors every day with this kid.
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) November 26, 2019
7. Hey, sometimes an alternative marketing take is all you need.
Anything that gets them to eat your food, let’s be honest.
9yo didn’t want to try my lemon loaf but when I rebranded it as “lemonade cake” he was interested
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) April 24, 2020
6. That’s actually fair, though, when you think about it.
Because a giant tomato coming to knock your house down is serious business.
We went into the basement for a tornado.
My 3-year-old thought we were hiding from a tomato.
Honestly, that scared her even more.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 2, 2016
5. This kid is not a genius.
He might have a future in the circus, though.
My kid swallowed a penny while showing his little brother how he accidentally swallowed a simm key the day before. from KidsAreFuckingStupid
4. Oh honey. Bless your heart.
You have to laugh, because honestly, what’s the alternative?
Told my 6yo his shoes were on the wrong feet. After a very long pause he said, "I don't have any other feet."
— Gina Denny (@ginad129) March 30, 2016
3. If they’re anything like my kids, we’re all stocked up on farts.
This is just hilarious because I’m guessing this isn’t the first or last time fart packs will be returned.
Kid buys farts from amazon from KidsAreFuckingStupid
2. I guess it’s all finished then?
Looks about right if you ask me.
1. You always ask them what’s down there first.
Rookie move, my friend. Good luck with all that.
This is making me feel better about the dubious decisions my 3yo makes on a daily basis!
What’s the dumbest thing your kid has ever done? Let’s keep the fun going in the comments!