Too many parents on the internet seem to like painting a certain type of image of life with kids – it’s all clean and well-behaved and quiet or something.
Other parents, like these 13, know the real power in numbers means letting other parents see behind the curtain – so we can be sure it’s a mess for all of us.
13. Switching cars is off-limits.
Those things are easy, but we dread them anyway.
oh you do crossfit? i installed my child's car seat today. your workout is my warmup bitch.
— Dad That Writes ☕ (@dadthatwrites) August 29, 2020
12. You’d think they would be farther along!
This cracked me up.
As I sit here watching my 9y/o throw a tantrum because his homework is too hard I wonder where YouTube went wrong in raising my children.
— Adventures In Babyshitting (@KMoFlo_official) August 27, 2020
11. Is it wrong that I’m laughing?
It’s fine because it’s not my kid. This time.
Camping update: my four year old shit in the hammock
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 30, 2020
10. I would sign up for most of these classes.
And some of them I’ve already aced.
I’m homeschooling my son this year, so I plan on teaching the curriculum as follows:
How to Get Mommy’s Tea
Let’s All Shut the Fuck Up for Ten Minutes
Annoying Daddy (AP level)
Why Firefly’s Cancellation is Never to Be Forgotten
Debate: Who is the Best Batman
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) September 1, 2020
9. He’s got your number.
It doesn’t take long.
Me: Say Mama.
Me: Say Mama.
Me: Say Mama.
Baby: Great Uncle Bartholomew.
Me: This is bullshit.
Baby: This is bullshit.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 30, 2020
8. She’s prepared for the day she will become a mother herself.
Your glasses are always on your head, sweetie.
My daughter cried today because she couldn't find her mask. She was wearing it.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) August 28, 2020
7. They excel in making the easiest things hard.
It’s one of their many talents.
My kids said parenting is easy so I let them put the toddlers socks and shoes on and now everyone is crying.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 30, 2020
6. I feel like this will only work once.
Still, it’s worth a try.
My 3yo didn't want to take a nap. I told her we could play hide and seek in her room, but she had to hide in her bed. She asked why nobody is finding her, I said I'll find you when you fall asleep. She's napping. It feels like I leveled up to expert in this parenting game.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 31, 2020
5. Kids should be allowed to name everything.
It makes so much more sense that way.
my four year old daughter is calling geese “honkeys” and I should probably correct her but I won’t
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 27, 2020
4. Just in case you weren’t already aware.
Kind of loses its shine after the first couple of months…of pregnancy.
Babycenter should continue their emails even after the baby is born; they’d be like: your baby is 49 months old, is the size of a demon, and is likely an asshole.
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) August 30, 2020
3. So in that way, they match.
Hard to argue with that logic.
Me: Your shirt and pants don't match.
6-year-old: My shirt is cool, and my pants are cool.
I stand corrected.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 31, 2020
2. Why is there so much trash?
You have to look in there, too, because some of it is your stuff.
Hey people without kids, is it fun not needing to take out the trash every minute of everyday?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 2, 2020
1. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Kids don’t understand tone most of the time, so that helps.
Never thought I’d find myself rage singing “you are my sunshine” but here we fucking are
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) August 28, 2020
These tweets make me feel so much better about my life!
Which of these made you want to fist-bump in solidarity? Tell me in the comments!