The good, the bad, the ugly – raising kids have all of it, oftentimes in the same day (or the same hour). And while it’s fun and sweet to read about the happy times, the truth is, sometimes it can make you feel badly about your own failures.
These 13 parents, though, are willing to honestly – and hilariously – give us the honest takes on the days that just don’t go as we’d hoped.
13. You gotta keep your claws sharp.
I promise some day you’re going to need them.
a mom versus mom throw down is just them sitting at the table, drinking coffee, passive-aggressively complimenting each other's homes
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) September 30, 2020
12. That’s a fun game.
For about five minutes.
My son just learned about riddles, but also doesn't understand anything about riddles, so he keeps blurting out stuff like, “Why did the turtle cross the road? HE DIDN'T HE'S DEAD.”
— The Dad (@thedad) September 26, 2020
11. It’s reasonable at this point.
Daydreaming is encouraged.
Thinking of taking a year off from homeschooling my kids and going backpacking through Europe to find myself…a new life.
— Mel GibSIN (@ImMelanieGibson) September 30, 2020
10. By quite a margin, I would imagine.
That’s a record you’re not going to break.
I’m 9 months pregnant with a boy so that’s officially the longest time I’ve had a penis inside of me
— Julicorn, spooky af 🦄 (@ChicksRule) September 30, 2020
9. I’m surprised it took this long.
Girlfriend puts up with a lot.
Homeschooling, Day 25: Alexa just gave her 2 weeks’ notice.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 1, 2020
8. Round trip will cost you extra.
5: I love you to Mars mommy!
Me: And back?
5: No. Only there.
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 1, 2020
7. It’s like it’s your first day.
The fear and the confusion all over again.
Four years of parenting experience and I STILL got sucked into a heated debate over whether cantaloupes come from antelopes.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) September 29, 2020
6. I honestly don’t see the difference.
Anything goes these days.
I just realized the debate looked so familiar because it’s literally my kids when my husband and I are trying to have a serious conversation, right down to someone finally yelling for them to shut their holes. What I’m saying is my kids are running for President next term.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 1, 2020
5. And with your own kid you have no one to blame but yourself.
It’s true. You know it.
the reason I prefer being around my own kids vs anyone else’s is because I have no issues telling mine to shut the hell up
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 30, 2020
4. The devil you know and all of that.
Don’t rock the boat.
Priest: we’re here to perform an exorcism on your child
Parent: please don’t, she’s actually been MUCH better behaved since Pazuzu moved in
— ADHaunteDeanBLM (@ADHDeanASL) September 30, 2020
3. The bathroom is not yours.
Nothing is yours, tbh.
Love is letting your toddler cut in front of you as you’re mid squat to sit on the toilet.
— Rhyming Monster (@sarabellab123) September 30, 2020
2. Just wait, you little imp.
Then you find out you weren’t letting her win.
Me: *letting my kid win*
My 4yo: Mommy you’re really bad at this
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 30, 2020
1. He’s not wrong.
It’s a sad state of affairs.
My 3yo asked, "are your boobs gone because I drank them all when I was a baby?" And I said yes.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 30, 2020
The great thing about being a parent is that you can always try again tomorrow.
Keep trying friends, just stay in the game and eventually, you’ll win.
Or something like that.