Laughs are in short supply these days, not only for parents, of course. But when it has to be funny enough to be heard over the sound of the constant preschooler chatter or the buzz of elementary school Zoom classes, well…it must be special.
We think these 14 recent tweets from parents will rise above the noise, my friends, so please – enjoy.
14. She probably ate one.
And then mom HAD to eat the rest.
Someone gave my 7yo a cake pop baking kit for Christmas. So anyway, she helped mix a few ingredients for 5 minutes and then I made cake pops.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 30, 2020
13. That seems like a fair average.
All those poor bananas.
By the age of 3, the average toddler has taken exactly 2 bites out of 372 bananas.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 29, 2020
12. Something to consider.
Also, invest in paper towels.
If parenting has taught me anything, it’s that you only give your toddler as much juice as you’d like to see on the floor
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) December 28, 2020
11. I mean…that’s fair.
Now he has no excuses!
Shout out to all the dads who got chore lists cleverly disguised as Home Depot gift cards for Christmas.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 27, 2020
10. I mean, it is funny.
The first dozen times, at any rate.
Nobody is more amused with themself than an 8 year old who successfully gave their parent bunny ears in a picture.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 27, 2020
9. That day cannot come soon enough.
Tell me it comes soon though.
I can’t wait for the day my 3 year old realises I can see his toys just fine when they’re not thrust within an inch of my eyeball
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) December 27, 2020
8. I hope he’s wearing a mask.
Or that you’re safe at home.
My 2yo picked a heck of a time to start fake coughing all over the place
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) December 31, 2020
7. One day will be slugs.
There will be so much payback.
Me: Good morn-
— my tweets are muted, beloved (@Steph_I_Will) December 28, 2020
6. You cannot argue with that logic.
Don’t even try.
MY KID: can i have a snack?
ME: no, it’s lunch time
KID: but i’m not hungry
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 31, 2020
5. I’m ok with that.
Will there be snacks?
My toddler learned the word "mine" so you all belong to her now.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 1, 2021
4. I mean…whatever works.
I mean, YOU didn’t have to clean up the dog vomit. So.
Does anyone have a trophy? My son cleaned up dog vomit and wants one.
— Moderna Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) January 1, 2021
3. Bless his heart.
Thoughts and prayers to you all.
My son was just absolutely astonished to discover that people who were alive in the 70’s are still alive today.
— Breaking Dad🧅 (@erichwithach) December 29, 2020
2. That’s a lot of anger at Peppa.
I guess she’s getting the redirected Caillou hate.
My baby been watching peppa pig 🐷 and now Everytime she sees a wetpuddle she wants to stomp on top of it 😒😒That shit gets me so tight ! FuCkin up her uggs……Deum you peppa pig …COUNT YOUR FUCKIN DAYS!🤬
— iamcardib (@iamcardib) December 28, 2020
1. It’s what inspires them.
Smells like revenge.
I bet when toy makers are coming up with ideas they focus on how much they hated their parents.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) December 30, 2020
I don’t know about you, but I needed that today! In fact, I need about ten times the amount of tweets I read, usually, but this will do for now.
Which of these did you send to a friend? Tell us in the comments!