The best advice about raising kids is that you should never listen to advice about raising kids – or at least, don’t take it too seriously, as every kid (and situation) is different.
The next best advice is to go with the flow, because everything is a phase that ends sooner or later.
If you’re raising kids, the best thing you can do for yourself is to be able to laugh at the job of raising kids – yours, and other people’s – which is exactly what these 14 tweets encourage you to do!
14. Only every 30 minutes?
Sounds like an exercise in restraint to me.
My tween daughter is the only one among her group of friends who doesn’t have a phone. I know this because she tells me every 30 minutes.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 16, 2020
13. Someone has to stop the insanity.
At least for a couple of hours.
My son got hungry so I gave him a snack. His teacher is gonna say how he can’t eat and before I knew it, I yelled from the kitchen “Girl, he is at home honey!” & then there was silence…….
— Ursula. (@LeciJ_) August 27, 2020
12. That last one, though.
All legitimate questions, I’d say.
[any time my family enters the room when I’m working]
– are you on a call?
– is it a video call?
– are you on mute?
– is it the kind where you have to pay attention?
– are you even awake?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 6, 2020
11. “A bit” might be for awhile.
Let’s see how he plays it.
I asked my son to turn down his music and he 'okayed boomer' me so now we're turning off the wi-fi for a bit
— Low Ki 🌺 (@Alohababe2011) August 4, 2020
10. Make your choice.
I choose the potato chips, honestly.
You can be a calm, rational person who doesn’t rage-eat potato chips before 10am, or you can be a parent of children doing online school. You cannot be both.
— 🎃Mommy Murder Jeans 👻 (@mommymemejeans) August 24, 2020
9. Just when you think they’re making progress.
They do something like this.
We’ve been getting a meal kit service and 9yo has been gamely trying all of it, but the other day it was salmon, which I knew he’d never eat, so I made him chicken fingers from frozen instead. He was like “WOW, is this hello fresh? This is INCREDIBLE.”
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) June 11, 2020
8. They’re always watching.
Also, you’re raising a critical thinker! Go you!
Me, to 8y.o: “Why do you watch YouTube videos of other people playing video games when you could play them yourself?”
8: “Well, why do YOU watch TikTok videos of people dancing when you could do the dances yourself?”
Well played, kid.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 1, 2020
7. RIP might be more like it.
Kiddo is about to learn the hard way.
Thoughts and prayers for my son who thought it would be funny to tell me “I’ll get to it when I get to it, woman”
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) June 10, 2020
6. I don’t see why not.
He’ll fit right in.
My son thinks the heart is in the stomach and calls vaginas “berginas” so I think he’s officially ready to start giving medical advice on Facebook
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) July 25, 2020
5. I guess he learned he’s not the boss of the Tooth Fairy.
Unless what he wanted was cheaper or easier than money, then by all means.
My son lost his tooth yesterday and I go to his room last night to grab the tooth in exchange for some $$$… And this is the message he wrote… 😒😒😒 with full on instructions 🤦🏾♂️🙄🤣 pic.twitter.com/jiMm5y9UF9
— Chef Lauren (@ChefLaurenW) July 2, 2020
4. They’re so cute when they act like they have a choice.
They just want to have some control but also not die.
“Hmmm, I guess I’ll have that”
– My 10yo after I told him what I was making for dinner like he’s got a choice in the matter
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 2, 2020
3. Why do they even try?
Millennial parents are down with the tech, son.
I tracked 16’s phone to see if he was where he was supposed to be. He was not. So I called 16 and asked where he was. He named the place he was supposed to be. I said oh REALLY? And the sound of his sighing realization that technology is a real bitch literally made my whole day.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) August 18, 2020
2. One would think she’s met several.
She’s just saying it because she’s supposed to, I promise.
At my daughter’s 4-year checkup, the doctor said she should be eating a varied diet and to make sure she’s eating a good amount from each food group and I think she said a bit about trying new foods but not sure cause I got distracted wondering if she’d ever actually met a 4yo.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) June 11, 2020
1. It’s important to be practical.
Teach them young.
3-year-old: mama why do people get married?
Me: well, when two people love each other very much it can be a good thing to do for tax purposes.
— Felicia Day (@feliciaday) July 1, 2020
Kids are amazing and hilarious, and sometimes we just need to remember that, right?
What’s your favorite advice about raising kids? Tell us in the comments!