Everyone’s relationship and marriage different in big and small ways, but it’s also true that all marriages have some big and small things in common.
If you’re married, sometimes it can feel as if no one understands what goes on behind closed doors, and I find posts like this to be helpful in reminding me that people get it, at least a little.
Here are 15 truths that, if you’re married (or have been married) you can’t deny are true.
15. Sex will be frequent and sometimes mind-blowing. Then, for a period, it will be just fine and not as frequent. Then it will be mind-blowing again.
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Do your best to roll with the punches.
14. Your spouse will freak out over things that you think are wildly irrational. Looking at those irrationalities as rational and treating them as such is critical. You don’t have to agree with them, but you do need to be compassionate. Emotional invalidation is a killer.
This one is so hard. And so important.
13. Seemingly inconsequential things — how someone arranges the eggs in the fridge, the amount of paper towels they use, if they leave the cabinet doors open, if they accidentally hog the covers at night — will be the gateway to hour-long arguments.
You will know that it’s silly, yet you will not be able to stop.
12. Without independent hobbies, shit will go sideways.
You need to spend time apart.
11. Without regular activities to do together, shit will also go sideways.
It’s a delicate balance.
10. You will go to bed angry sometimes.
You have to sleep, and some arguments aren’t over in a day (or a week).
9. You will wake up angry sometimes.
8. There will be times when your partner will say something about a past experience that will shock you and remind you that you don’t know them as well as you thought.
This can be a good thing.
7. Talking shit about other couples will be considered a great date night.
It’s a great bonding experience.
6. There’s some truth to this Ogden Nash quote, “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Understanding how you complement one another is crucial.
Ideally, you both bring strengths to the table.
5. Remembering the little things will solve so many issues. And marriage will make you realize that they’re not actually little things. They’re very, very big things.
The little things are so often the big things.
4. You will hear your spouse tell the same story for 4587 times throughout the course of your marriage.
Just smile and nod at the appropriate junctures.
3. You will go out with other couples and think they are weird or, frankly, the f*cking worst. You will go out with couples that think the same of you.
Repeat after me: not everyone has to like you.
2. You will, at some point or another, feel like your partner and the kids have a relationship you could never have.
That is your own mess to deal with, not theirs.
1. Marriages always end poorly. The best-case scenario is that someone dies at the end.
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I’m reading The Untethered Soul (yes I said this a year ago. It’s a hard concept to grasp!) and it all boils down to this: do you choose happiness or not? Shit is going to happen to you, stress happens when you resist life’s events. Choose to find the joy. Look for it. Stay committed. Stay conscious. Stay open. No matter what happens to you. Kid skips school. Failed job. Failed marriage. Death. Don’t close. It’s not easy. Everything we’ve been taught says otherwise. We want to protect ourselves. We want to save face. But for what? It keeps us caged. Real freedom comes when we let go of ego, fear of failure and move through life with joy and a sense of adventure. We are here for such a short period of time. Really. Go full force with good intentions. Someone remind me of this tomorrow. 😂❤️❤️ #untetheredsoul #choosejoy #butmykidisfailing #myhusbanddied #acceptlifeevents #choosehappy #whynot
Depressing food for thought…or maybe that’s just how stuff is. Right? RIGHT?!?!
I already feel less alone, and happier with the way things are!
What do you think it absolutely true about being married? Share with us in the comments!