Ah, bedtime. We all want it to be this sweet, magical time of the day – but by “we” I mean “parents” and without buy-in from your kids, it’s never going to happen.
A fact these 15 parents know for sure, because they are quite tired of all the shenanigans and just want to have some time for themselves.
How do I know?
I think you know the answer to that.
15. Are you sure that’s enough time?
If I insisted on getting my kids to bed by 7:00 every night, I'd have to start their bedtime routine just after breakfast.
— Dave Lesser (@AmateurIdiot) May 22, 2016
14. Whatever works.
Literally, after two hours, no one cares.
The game show Let's Make A Deal,
but me bribing my kids to stay in bed.
— Marloween (@Marlebean) May 2, 2016
13. One or both of you is going to break that pact.
Maybe not tonight, but some day soon.
Me: Alright, there’s no more crying during the bedtime routine.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 8, 2020
12. Don’t let her mistakes become yours.
Hindsight is 20/20.
Warning to parents:
If you decide to do something special at bedtime, be prepared for it to become part of the bedtime routine for the next three to five years.
This mom, who is currently "brushing" seventeen stuffed animals' teeth.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) June 27, 2020
11. Never use new vocab at bedtime.
Me: It's bedtime
4: Read one more book
Me: You're stalling
4: Whats stalling?
Me: When you try to not go to bed
4: Let's talk about stalling
— The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) July 24, 2013
10. Reason has nothing to do with it.
You will curse anything available after a night of not enough sleep.
parenting makes you do weird things like hate the daylight for waking your kids and preventing them from going to bed
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 21, 2020
9. Nope. Don’t like that.
All talk of ghosts is banned in the dark.
during bedtime the toddler announced there is a second "purple mommy" who appears at night someone help pls help
— Chantal Braganza (@chantalbraganza) January 7, 2019
8. You get really good at them after awhile.
So gold star for that.
My bedtime routine with the kids is just cycling through the Kubler-Ross stages of grief.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) July 15, 2015
7. Mayhaps it shall appear.
And make believers out of everyone.
In his bedtime prayers my 4 y/o asked for a toy I secretly threw away two weeks ago. Not gonna say anything because who am I to limit God.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) January 3, 2018
6. No telling what song pops into your head.
Not that it matters. At all.
“Mama, one more lullaby?”
“I can’t think of any more- GOODNIGHT!”
“Tommy used to work on the docks… Union’s been on strike, he’s down on his luck, it’s tough..”
— RachRiot (@RachRiot) September 12, 2018
5. They HAVE to.
Who are you to argue?
me: it's bedtime
kids: ok hold on we have to build a house, write a book, perform surgery, travel for business, can you cut my nails and also [projectile vomitting]
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 16, 2020
4. Lie down in your bed, sir.
Maybe don’t be so fun next time.
Since my husband is the “fun” parent, the kids want him to handle everything, including meals and bedtime.
He’s annoyed, or at least I think that’s what he said. I couldn’t hear him over my triumphant laughter echoing off the walls.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) November 2, 2019
3. Not unless you REALLY want to hate bedtime.
Also, kids think everything is scary.
If you run out of bedtime stories to tell your kids, don't improvise and read them the "It: Chapter 2" synopsis off IMDb
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 15, 2019
2. Why does everything have to be so hard?
Watching television should be easy.
Getting the kids to bed after a long day and then not being able to find the TV remote is like, "Good effort, but no gold stars today."
— Ash (an female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) April 22, 2016
1. I mean, it is a really good question.
Maybe they wear nametags.
Important bedtime question from my 6-year-old…
In the underworld, how do you tell which skeleton is which? Do they have skeleton hair?
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) July 29, 2020
Only four hours until we tackle bedtime at our house.
Is it too early to have a drink? Asking for me.