No one ever really knows what goes on behind the closed doors of other people’s relationships. Sometimes that’s a bad thing, because there are people there that need our help, but most of the time it’s great, because it’s none of your business.
Different things make different relationships work, and there’s no shame in figuring out how to keep things running smoothly in your home.
If you’re curious what strange things other couples get into, though, read on – because these 15 people are ready to share.
15. Just between the two of you.
One day about 25 years ago I left a silly & random message on our answering machine for my wife (I used to put a lot of things for sale in the Buy & Sell ad paper). It went like this:
“I’m calling about the froggy. That I’ve touched. I touched the frog! Don’t tell anyone!!”
To this day if anyone mentions a frog, we look at each other and say quietly, “The froggy that I’ve touched…”
It’s so stupid, but makes us laugh.
14. This is so pure.
If my wife and I are holding hands and we somehow end up in a handshake position we shake vigorously and say hyperbolic business jargon like “good business deal, business partner.” Or “production is hitting our KPIs this quarter.”
Done it for years and we do actually own a business together now but we still do this.
13. It’s bound to happen.
When my wife has a hard time coming up with a word, I suggest the word “penis”. She says be careful, someday you’re going to say that in the wrong company.
12. Like a middle school locker room.
My wife likes to pants me (pull down my pants from behind) when I’m doing things where both hands are occupied, like cooking or carrying things.
I put up with it because she get really great belly laughs every time she is successful, and I love it when she laughs like that.
11. Spelling is hard.
I used to mess up the name of the month on our dry erase calendar and now it has turned into us constantly doing it wrong on purpose to see who notices.
Right now it is apparently Septemble.
10. I love this description.
This is so similar to me “credit carding” my husband! When he is carrying groceries or bending and working on anything in our home I credit card his crack with my hand to pay him for his services.
He is always thankful for payment but has many times requested some sort of currency exchange, which we are still diplomatically negotiating.
9. Going to try this.
Before we had a kid, we used to strip to avoid running out for anything. It started with “you run out, I don’t have any shoes on”. Then one day I mentioned we were out of milk, and neither of us had shoes on. My husband immediately dropped his pants around his ankles and declared “I don’t have pants on either”. After that, every time one of us would say “oh, we’re all out of *blank*…” we would exchange a quick glance and immediately start stripping to see who could be the farthest from “ready to leave the house”. Good times.
ETA: This got way more attention than I thought it would! Thanks for the awards!
Also, yeah, we used to wear shoes in the house back when we lived in grimy apartments. Even now, since we got a dog, we have “in-house shoes” and “outside-shoes” to avoid stepping in water-slobber-drool spots in socks.
I’m seriously considering starting this up again…our son is 8, so as long as we dont go beyond underwear, it should be just the right amount of embarrassing. 😉
Sometimes, we take the t-shirt we’re wearing, and trap the other persons head under it, holding them to our stomachs and telling them that they are now safe.
7. Can’t quit now.
Tag, basically. I chase her around the house, furniture, etc. There have been both broken possessions and injuries. The worst was several years ago when I broke my toe trying to run past the fridge and kicked it at full speed.
We still do it, though.
6. You need to be able to check.
We have a codeword to determine if the other person is a shapeshifter. Randomly we will ask each to repeat it.
Always causes a giggle or even a concerned “oh god…”
5. Definitely weird.
My boyfriend and I believe in an alternate reality where we exist as beans so whenever we’re having an awkward moment one of us will mention what our bean versions are probably doing.
4. So many pranksters.
Secretly put pegs on each other’s clothes as we go about our day and wait to see how long it takes for one another to notice.
3. Or maybe she did…
We have a little paper cut out of Bobby Hill that we hide in random locations for the other to find, days or weeks later. It’s currently in a stack of toilet paper at her place waiting to be found again.
Update: She grabbed the roll on top of it but didn’t notice it.
2. You gotta have fun.
The goofing voices in public.
It’s made worse by the fact I’m 60 and she’s 50. Grocery aisle or any other store and one of us sees something cool, boom.
Fake, exaggerated semi-aristocratic whatever accent we can contrive and, “Ooooh! So verah fanceh!” Then the other chimes in, “So verah fanceh! What does it do?”
And off we go. Insufferable, really.
1. That’s one way to do it.
We settle disputes with “sock head”.
We stand about 3 metres apart and take it in turns to throw a sock at each other in the hope of landing one squarely on the other ones head.
I’m currently reigning champion.
Y’all, I love lists like this. People are so delightfully weird.
Do you have a confession that belongs on this list? We want to hear about it in the comments!