There are way too many great tweets about parenting out there, with more piling on every day, for anyone to be able to keep up with them all.
That said, since we’re about halfway through the year, we did think it was a good time to go through some of our favorites from the first 6 months of the year-that-shall-not-be-named – and here are 16 we think it would suck to miss!
16. It depends on their mercurial moods.
But also 99% of them love attention.
Stop assuming all toddlers want to give you a high five.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 20, 2020
14. We never knew we could be so bored and so not bored at the same time.
Literally in the same moment – boredom and anxiety coexist.
13. We all know who’s really in charge.
But seriously, dads, at least try to convince your kids you are also in charge.
"Daddy, I want mommy" is the new "Let me speak to your fucking manager."
— Stone Cold Daddy (@Stonecolddad316) May 7, 2020
12. If only they would DO what we SAY.
And not just memorize it for mocking purposes.
My daughter did an impression of me the other day. She put on my sweater and yelled, "If you're bored empty the dishwasher! I'm not a restaurant!!! I'm working!! Nachos for dinner again!!"
— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) May 21, 2020
11. Is this funny or just plain wrong?
You’ll have to decide…but it can probably be both.
My son lost a tooth last night.
I just saved myself £2 pic.twitter.com/4AGJneitcu
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 2, 2020
10. On one hand, I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to fix themselves dinner.
But also then I bet they’ll eat way more food without my knowledge.
If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 26, 2020
9. Back when parents were not fun.
And they didn’t even think about caring about that fact.
So we don’t go to restaurants, kids aren’t signed up for anything, and we are just staying home during spring break? Sounds like my childhood.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 7, 2020
8. Everyone knows that field day is more fun than graduation.
There’s actually nothing fun about graduation the event.
high school seniors complaining about no graduation when millions of elementary school kids don’t get to have field day. never forget your roots
— alec (@squashgoblet) April 20, 2020
7. Ahhh the sweet sounds of a mouth banjo.
Nothing like being stuck in the house with that beautiful noise.
Good news: My son cleaned his room
Bad news: He found his harmonica
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 9, 2020
6. No, but Grandpa had to stay inside because of the polio.
Among other things (vaccinate your kids).
My son just asked me if I when I was little I had to stay inside for COVIDs 1 through 18
— Kerry Howley (@KerryHowley) April 1, 2020
5. My kids would LOVE this.
Time to add something else to my husband’s list.
This grandfather built his grandson a a rollercoaster in the backyard during the pandemic and it’s definitely the Twitter content I’m here for…pic.twitter.com/9YidJLGREs
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) May 21, 2020
4. I was prepared to feel guilty.
But not guilty enough to limit screen time right now.
A pandemic is no excuse for excessive screen time. Study after study has shown that electronics are harmful to young minds. I’ve made the difficult decision to limit my children’s iPad use to no more than 14 hours a day and I hope you do the same.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) May 3, 2020
3. All of this seems pretty spot on.
It’s just what dad’s do, so why fight it?
Dad vacation to do list
1. Wake up at 6 AM for no reason
2. Buy a local newspaper
3. Complain about the coffee maker
4. Try to make people feel bad for sleeping in
6. Call the GPS stupid
7. Organize the fishing stuff again
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 18, 2020
2. Syrup is yummy, and we like Europe.
Idk whatever makes you laugh these days.
Last night my 4yo said a prayer for all the people in the world including "Africa, Asia and Syrup." From now on, I will be referring to Europe only as Syrup.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) April 1, 2020
1. Ask an honest question, get an honest answer.
It’s the best policy and all of that – teenagers know.
Never ask your teenager how you look today, unless you’re prepared for them to say shit like “you look Amish” or “you look like you sell essential oils and don’t vaccinate your kids”
— Ⓖⓗⓓ (@GingerHotDish) June 11, 2020
These are definitely high on the list of the best things about 2020.
It’s a short list, as one might expect, so you gotta embrace the good stuff when you find it.