Dads get a bad rap for the dumb jokes, but here’s the thing – they can also actually be really funny! Men have an interesting take on parenthood that honestly, is pretty darn amusing at times.
If Dad Humor is totally your think, these 12 dads have some jokes for you – and I bet you’re gonna like them a lot.
12. I’m still a couple of years away.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Once you can send your kids to play in the other room without worrying about them dying, the second part of your life begins.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 22, 2019
11. She got it half right.
Who’s going to pay for the plumber, though.
My kid just flushed her socks down the toilet because "dirty stuff goes there."
Sound logic, questionable execution.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) November 11, 2015
10. It gives them something to strive for, though.
That’s the most important part.
I offer my kids $500 for every A on their report card. It sends the message that education is a priority in our household and it costs me absolutely nothing since my kids aren't that bright.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 29, 2018
9. Also they’re asking for things.
While they’re screaming. It’s a lot.
Parenting is like being a juggler except all the balls are screaming.
— Kalvonavirus (@KalvinMacleod) September 11, 2015
8. How to Turn Siblings Against Each Other, 101.
I’m not saying I’m a good parent, but this is terrible!
Me to my kids: “Not everything’s a competition”
Also me to my kids:
– First one to finish dinner wins!
– First one upstairs wins!
– First one in the car wins!
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) August 1, 2019
7. It’s all you really need to say most days.
But also be ready to shout “what happened? Are you okay?!”
I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out "be careful!" every few minutes without looking up from my phone.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 13, 2013
6. I’d pay money to hear how that turned out.
My guess is pretty awesome. Or he’d be fired.
I wish I could use the same excuses to call into work that my kid uses to get out of bed at night. Like, “Sorry, I can’t come in today there are too many stuffed animals in my bed.”
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 29, 2019
5. It’s complicated, okay?
They’ll figure it out soon enough.
I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also she is only 12 when we buy movie tickets.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 15, 2019
4. Cold-blooded but not wrong.
That kid is going places.
My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life." Toddlers are cold-blooded, man.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 19, 2019
3. These are all amazing.
Toddlers are the best (and the worst). All at once.
Things that made my toddler cry this week:
– I wouldn't let the dog drive him to daycare
– the bath was "too wet"
– he wanted syrup for breakfast…just syrup
– his sister "keeps looking at him"
– he wants shoes like his friend Jacob (there is no Jacob)
How about your kid?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 8, 2019
2. This is both annoying and impressive.
I’m guessing he had a good tutor.
My youngest has recently started saying, "I'm pooping!" to get out of doing things.
And I'm so jealous he has already figured out how to be an adult quicker than I ever did.
— A Bearer Of Dad News ✊🏾 (@HomeWithPeanut) August 20, 2019
1. Eh, he won’t eat it all.
Yes, I speak from experience.
I told my son if he finishes his plum and hard boiled egg I gave him for breakfast, he can have a cookie. We don’t have any cookies.
I’m playing a dangerous game.
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 22, 2019
I’m giggling, because even if this is the dad perspective, parenting across the board isn’t all that different.
What’s your favorite dad joke? Share it with us in the comments!