If there’s one thing that’s true about kids across the board, it’s that they all assume that adults are a lot more daft than they actually are. It’s as if they think we were all born yesterday, or at the very least, not much before they were, which allows them to believe it’s easy to put one over on us.
For the majority of parents, who are actually paying attention, there’s not much our kids do that escapes our notice – and these 16 parents are holding onto those secrets for a rainy day.
16. Maybe the feeling is mutual.
Not a parent, but I act super dumb at home.
I dislike sharing information with my parents.
15. They definitely thought you were an idiot.
When I was a kid I used to keep a pretty elegant glass bong on my night stand and I would place fake flowers in it to make it just look like a vase because I just underestimated my parents that much.
It’s crazy how great you think you are as a teenager. lol. But my parents totally knew and just thought I was an idiot for thinking I was so clever.
14. This is pretty gross.
Not the parent, the kid. I have a number of diagnosed mental health issues.
My mother thinks she’s figured out that I’m making it all up to not “get in trouble” and that I’ve managed to convince four doctors in as many years of this.
She still brings it up occasionally. Just the other day she “explained” to me that she “knows” my OCD isn’t real.
My hands were cracked and bleeding from over-washing.
13. Hard to be mad about that.
My son graduated because he’s cute and girls did his work for him.
My son is very mechanically minded. He was required to take classes for graduation that i understood his struggle.
Taking calculus for Him was like me trying to put an engine together. I looked the other way.
12. Awkward is an understatement.
Not a parent nor a kid but my friend is a p**n actor (not very active, and male p**n actors except for a few, don’t get a ton of camera time or attention).
His dad is a p**noholic. They both think the other one doesn’t know. Interestingly, both have no idea the mom knows too.
It’s very awkward.
11. Go ahead and Google it.
It gives me chills thinking of my parents knowing what I do on deviant art.
10. That’s a good day.
Their browser history. At one point I got the older ones together and asked them, “Is there anything you’d like to tell me before I audit the logs on the router?”
The shock and horror on their faces … it should be illegal to enjoy “Dadding” this much.
9. He’s gotta learn somehow.
My son is an accomplished stock trader on r/WallStreetBets and thinks I have no idea.
8. Some secrets are downright adorable.
Obligatory not years- My 4 yr old giggles to herself when I turn my back after asking her if she tooted and she tells me no.
She’s the only other person/animal in the place.
I started turning my back though bc her little face was so stinking cute I couldn’t contain my laughter but didn’t want her to see me cracking up bc then she shouldn’t believe she “got away” with it.
7. Stop making it so yummy!
My son thinks he is slick and got away with drinking some of my salted caramel moonshine.
I know he snuck a shot or three. I’m okay with it.
He’s 17 and responsible, smart and an amazing kid. A smidge of moonshine isn’t a huge deal.
6. We all need a bit of candy now and again.
I’m not a parent but a kid… but i thought my mom didn’t know i was addicted to candy and always would eat it behind her back.
But three years later i found out she knew and that she would take some as well when i was at my dads…
5. OK I wouldn’t stay quiet about that.
On behalf of my mum.
I naively thought that she didn’t know that I started smoking at age thirteen.
I waited til I was eighteen to openly smoke, only for my mum to inform me that she always knew.
I stopped smoking four years ago.
4. No parent anywhere is shocked.
They don’t check the toilet paper after wiping it.
6yr old observes how dry his a$$hole is instead of looking if there are still poo stains.
3. Dad knows what it’s like.
My dad catch me and my ex girlfriend doing the delicious on my room, he has never talk about it, neither did I, but after a few days he throws me a “I am proud of you son” from no where.
So I guess he decided to keep it between us haha.
2. Experiment subjects.
That they are telepathic.
I have identical triplets, and I just know that they communicate telepathically. I’ve done experiments, for example, giving one candy while there is no chance that the other two can hear it.
They come running immediately and demand candy too.
1. I bet they knew.
Obligatory not a parent.
Ordering $70 worth of pizza, breadsticks and pop, then blaming my neighbor of whom we didn’t like each other.
These kids are in for a rude awakening at some point. Or not. Depends on their parents mood!
What’s the funniest thing your kid tried to hide from you? Crack us up in the comments!