If you’re a parent, you should know that your kid is a liar. All kids are liars, because when you were a kid you were a liar, and it’s really about pushing boundaries and figuring out your own limits more than being malicious or some kind of pathological creep.
Most of the time, anyway.
These 16 parents have heard some truly hilarious fibs, and I bet after you read through them you’re going to feel better about the ones you’ve heard at home!
16. Well this is awkward.
Not uncommon with kids I guess. My son when still in diapers or being potty trained was always telling others that I was the one pooping in his diaper.
He did it enough I considered doing it just to teach him a lesson.
15. Sounds plausible.
My nephew. I don’t have a child.
His mother: “What’s that little scratch on your hand?”
Nephew: “Well, actually it was very serious. I sliced it open with a knife at school, there was a huge hole in my hand so the teacher had to cut some skin from another child to stick my hand back together.”
14. What a good grandpa.
My daughter always blamed my dad when she farted. “grandpa farted.”
“in your pants?”
“Yes. Grandpa farted in my pants.”
My dad always agreed, because he loved that little rascal.
13. Not one clue.
My 4 yo had been jumping in mud puddles near our house, which he was specifically NOT supposed to do.
When he came up to me covered in splashes of fresh mud and I asked him what happened he looked me right in the eye and said “I have no idea.”
12. She couldn’t let it go.
I’m the child.
In first grade I cut my hair and hid it in my desk. The teacher later found it and told my mother. When confronted, I said it must be Henry’s hair, Henry being the only other redhead in my class. The problem was Henry was a boy with dark, almost auburn hair, and he had a buzz cut. I was a girl with bright red hair past my shoulders.
They asked how Henry’s short, darker hair had become several inches of bright red and what it was doing in my desk. I told them his hair was short cause he cut it all off, he must had hidden it in my desk. My argument had fallen apart a long time ago but I conceded when I had no excuse for the color.
11. The biggest mosquito ever.
I was the kid, probably 5 or 6. My mom told me not to torment the cat I got for my birthday. Yet I tried to feed him a mud pie, repeatedly, until he put a long, deep, bloody scratch all down my leg.
I knew how to deal with boo-boos, but this one was a monster. It hurt enough to put my leg in the bathtub, wash it with soap and water and pour bactine on it, without worrying that my mom would come in and see me, which of course she did.
“Nullagravida!” she said. “Didn’t I tell you not to bother the cat? How did that happen?”
I blurted out the first thing I thought of, which was “I didn’t! This is a mosquito bite!”
I’ll never forget the first time I ever thought: god, that was a dumb thing to say.
10. They know when you need a laugh.
Hubs and I lived with my MIL for a while after a financial crisis. Our oldest daughter was 3 and always trying to pull one over on someone. Went into the bedroom to discuss something we didn’t want to talk about in front of the kid and had been in there for about ten minutes when we heard her knocking on the door asking to come in.
I explained that we were having a grown-up conversation and that I’d be with her in a few minutes. Not to be dissuaded, she waited 20-30 seconds and knocked again.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s Gigi,” comes an unnaturally deep voice on the other side of the door (Gigi being grandma).
Had to give her props for trying.
9. Of course he did.
Ny two year old told me I had to turn on the TV because the dog wanted to watch Elmo.
8. Such a fun game.
In her preschool a nurse came in to test everyone’s hearing. The nurse tried to make it fun by saying “Lets play a game! When you hear the beep raise your hand.” My sister failed the test miserably. My mom got the results and was totally distraught because her sister (our aunt) was born deaf and she struggled a lot through out childhood in school, making friends, etc. The following weeks until my sister could get an appointment with this really great hearing specialist were very upsetting according to my mom. She read every book she could, asked my aunt hundreds of questions, etc.
The morning of my sisters appointment with the hearing specialist, my sister and my dad (who was quite the jokester, so my she assumed he’d LOVE this) were talking about hearing tests and what to expect that day. Then she said very proudly “Daddy the hearing nurse said let’s play a game so I played my own game!”
My sister took the silly little “game” aspect a way too seriously. Clearly confused he asked her to elaborate. Apparently her game was to do the opposite but of what she was told. My dad explained how that’s a big problem and now we don’t know if there’s really any hearing problems. She cried because she thought she was in trouble and did something wrong.
The poor kid was so nervous during the next hearing test she raised her hand indicating she could hear the beep before the machine was on. Luckily, they had an alternative test where the specialist whispered across the room about ice cream and she certainly heard that. Needless to say, she has perfect hearing.
7. Dang, girl.
My daughter asked my wife “where’s daddy?” “he’s at work” “no he’s with his girlfriend” “oh yeah? It’s she prettier than me?” “yes” – 2 year old daughter.
If I wasn’t such a loner I’d probably be in trouble but since my life is “go to work, go home, repeat” I was safe haha
6. Have you ever heard of mice?
Lone parent to two girls. Every time I go for a bath i hear them creep down to help themselves to snacks (i let them have one snack in between meals because my eldest especially can be a bit greedy)…so each and every time I get in the hot bath i hear them trying to creep down the stairs. When I hear them sneaking back up I always say “i can hear you! It’s nearly supper time you don’t need more snacks ” and the lies they come out with make me laugh…
“It wasn’t the sound of a crisp bag. It was a shopping bag so we can clean up”
“You are imagining things”
“We think there’s a ghost that keeps leaving empty wrappers under the bed”
“Have you never heard of mice?”
When I was about 3 I came downstairs and proudly announced to my mom and her friends that I had NOT coloured on the walls. She of course thinks I have and ran upstairs to see what damage I had done.
I really didn’t colour on the walls I just thought I was funny.
4. A born storyteller.
I have a cousin who was a creative liar since she was small and a bit of a one upper. She always has a follow up story. So when I got a pet turtle she told us about when she had a pet turtle. My dad knows she’s never had a pet turtle so he’s probing around to see what she says.
Dad: Oh, you had one too?
Her: Yes, but not anymore.
Dad: Really? What happened to it?
Her: It got ran over by the train.
Dad: Wow! So it died right away?
Her: No. it was on crutches for a while.
Dad: Crutches on a turtle?
Her: Yeah, and bandages.
She’s now an adult and has not grown out of this phase. Her lies are more believable now but she always has a story that tops your story.
My nephew has two moms and about a year ago he was being taught that most people have a mom and dad. About a week later his mom found marker drawings on the wall.
My nephew was covered in marker scribbles and told his mom that he didn’t do it, his dad did.
2. Didn’t quite think that one through.
At the time, my daughters were 4 and 2. My wife is at work. My 2 year old comes downstairs crying and it looks like blue paint all over her hands. I go to her and the realize it’s toothpaste. I go to our room and find the 4 year old at our bed with a tube of toothpaste completely emptied and she’s rubbing it into our comforter.
I start a bath, get both of them in the tub. The 4 year old looks at me, hands covered in toothpaste and says…”It wasn’t me dad, only sister did it”
Same year, my 2 year “The baby (our son) pulled my hair!” ….sure he did….my wife was 8 months pregnant.
1. Such a fun age.
I have an almost 2 year old so she doesn’t understand lying yet. She is also better at saying “no” than “yes”.
I always find it funny when she is devouring her dinner and I ask her if it’s yummy and she flat out says “no” as she shoved another mouthful of Mac n Cheese in her mouth
Kids, man. What are you going to do?
Share your own kid’s hilarious lies with us in the comments!