I honestly don’t understand cheating when you’re in a committed relationship. If you’re happy, you shouldn’t need to look elsewhere and if you’re not, why not just leave?

I guess it’s not always as simple as all that – at least, that’s what people tell me.

These 16 people have been cheated on, and with some space between them and the incident, they’re able to laugh about the dumb excuses their partners gave when they knew they were caught.

16. Redirecting the blame.

He said that it was my fault that he cheated because I raised his confidence so much and he figured if he could get me he could get other girls and he decided to test that theory.

A lot.

15. It was the same outcome, though.

“I didn’t wanna break your heart by dumping you.”

And you thought cheating would be LESS hurtful???? Eff you, Jess.

I only found out because her secret boyfriend unexpectedly showed up at our house one night.

She went ghost-pale, swore up-and-down that he was “just a friend”…and then HE told me then had been f**king/dating for several weeks.

Who knows how many OTHER guys she f**ked behind my back over the 10 years we were together…

14. I feel like we’re missing some information.

“I was out of cigarettes.”

13. You would think.

Some bulls*%t about how she was getting too attached to me.

Isn’t… isn’t that the whole point of a relationship?

12. Super mature.

I only had one man cheated on me in my life and that’s my ex husband. And he basically frame it as, “My butterflies for you has flown to her.”

What more other explanation do I need right? Makes sense….

11. She just forgot!

My friend’s girlfriend told him that she “forgot she wasn’t single anymore” lmfao.

10. I’m only human!

“Humans are not naturally monogamous. It doesn’t make sense for us to be monogamous, so you really can’t blame me for acting naturally.”

9. Everyone loves a pity screw.

“I thought he had cancer”

My ex-wife and I had been together for, about 2 or 3 years at this point. The ex in question was her high school sweetheart who fled the city because he got in trouble with the police. (this story, by the way, doesn’t take place in the US). So one evening she gets a text, and she rushes off to go make a call. About an hour later she gets done, and I ask her what’s up. She is evasive, but eventually she tells me that it was *that* ex, and he is back in town after nearly 5 years.

She says that she told him off, and it was well.

Well, the texting doesn’t stop and she says it’s important because he is back in town because he has cancer, and his family is taking care of him, and he regrets things, and yadayada. His last wish is to make peace and see her. Me, being the idiotic empath I am, is like ‘sure, fine. I trust you, so you do what you have to do.”

The day comes she is supposed to meet him. It’s a sleepy saturday morning, and she leaves as quick as she can and I go about my day. The morning turns to evening, and evening to night and she comes back at about 11 pm.

Assurances were given that it was all done, and everything. (it wasn’t) and that nothing untoward had happened. Now, she gets jealous, defensive and evasive about everything. Things like when she’d sit in another seat on the bus that wasn’t by me, she’d get extremely jealous if another woman sits beside me. Mostly she was jealous of the self-defense class I taught on the side to women, and she hated my students.

This goes on for a few weeks until we break up. Now, I knew based on her behavior what had happened, and I got confirmation a while later after the divorce. We worked at the same place, and were casually friends. (this isn’t even getting into when my then-current pregnant baby’s momma, ex-wife, and me were in a training for three weeks, and assigned seating had the three of us sitting together for the whole thing…)

But during that time she told me that she was so high-strung because she slept with her ex and thought I was cheating on her. She still pulled the “Well, I thought he had cancer” card. (he did not)

And that is the story.

8. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

“I just love you so much, I was afraid I was going to ruin things because I ruin everything”

Proceeds to cheat

7. I think they both owe him an explanation.

“I dont’ owe you an explanation”

She cheated on me with my own older brother.

That was my first serious relationship, y’all.

6. It boggles the mind.

She felt “trapped” she said. We had a 1 year old at the time. She abandoned us and went on to have at least two kids with some piece of s*%t. Really boggles the mind why she did that but I stopped trying to figure that out long ago.

Well long story short I didn’t let her take the kid with her. Fuck no. I got a very expensive lawyer, she didn’t. At fault divorce, no alimony. I got custody, I didn’t seek child support because she doesn’t have it, I don’t need it and I’m perfectly happy having NO ties to her whatsoever.

Far as I know she’s still alive, I’d probably have heard if she died.
This was over a decade ago. Me and my kid are doing just fine. She’s, I don’t know probably still lives in the state I think.

She did try to come back a few months after (once it was clear that she wasn’t going to live on my money anymore) but that bridge had been burned and the ashes launched into the sun.

5. Not two but three.

When I found out she cheated on me and I asked why, she said “I thought you were going to say we should take a break.”

When I asked her if the kid was mine or his, she said “it’s probably not yours… it could be his or his room mates’, to be honest.”

And that’s the magical combination from a fiancé that will send you into depression

4. This doesn’t even try to make sense.

“You didn’t call me in the am and pm to remind me to take my birth control”.

Uhhh, what?

3. I don’t think that’s how that works.

I was sleep walking.

And that’s why you don’t live in the same building as your ex, especially if you’re prone to sleep walking and sleep banging.

2. Maybe the most ridiculous one on the thread.

I found out she cheated on me with a coworker, but admitted it immediately and asked me to forgive her (just got married 3 months before this after 7 years together). It hurt but I forgave her.

The next weekend she did it again because “clearly I don’t care about her since I didn’t get that mad.” I wasn’t as forgiving the second time, broke some s*%t in our house just to prove how pissed I was, then we split.

My life is so much better now.

1. Mmmm no thanks.

“Hey so I’ve been meaning to bring this up but I’m actually interested a poly relationship even though we’ve been together for years and I’ve never once mentioned it. You’ll love her!”

Meanwhile he tried to cut me off from all my male friends.

I guess the upside is that they dodged the bullet of a longer-running relationship with a jerk.

Have you ever been cheated on? If you want to, share the excuses in the comments that you heard when it was over!