Nothing says parenting like needing to hide from your kids, even if it’s only for 5 minutes of peace. The closet, the bathroom, the guest room, the basement – I’ve tried them all, and let me tell you, none of them are safe.

Your spot should last long enough for you to snarf some Oreos and scroll through this list of 12 funny parenting memes, though, and there’s no way you’ll regret doing either of those things.

12. Every ritual and routine isn’t for everyone.

Some of us are just trying to survive, here.

11. And no one will laugh at a kid.

Probably.

10. Always ask them to use it in a sentence.

Protip there. It will never let you down.

9. Every last gray hair.

Also, how can you look younger if you never sleep?

8. He knows who he married.

You’ve gotta respect that.

7. No better way to describe it.

Especially between the ages of 10-30.

6. Also, no one else uses crayons.

They think we just fell off the turnip truck, I swear.

5. It’s funny.

It’s also extremely frustrating.

4. Anywhere but here.

Go bother the poor, tired, new mother.

3. Just a little white lie.

That’s going to come back and bite you one day.

2. Let’s go with that.

Bless her heart.

1. There will be trouble if you don’t comply.

You might be accused of being a pod person.

See, don’t you feel ready to face those kids now and get on with your day?

If not, maybe just stay really quiet. That might buy you a couple more minutes. Good luck!