Parents are always doing that thing where we weigh what we want/need to do with how much destruction our kids can wreak on the house in the same amount of time.
Sometimes it’s worth it, sometimes it’s not, but from one parent to another, I think you won’t regret scrolling through these 11 tweets!
11. I know they say not to meet your heroes…
But what if you made them?
I watched my toddler eat a grilled cheese buck naked tonight, just buck ass naked eating a grilled cheese sandwich because he wanted to.
Someday, I’m gonna be just like him.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 25, 2020
10. It’s not forever.
Someday you’ll have to buy an extra large turkey and three bags of rolls.
Let's get married & have kids so instead of enjoying Thanksgiving dinner, you can make sure no food touches on her plate while I microwave him a hotdog.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 22, 2020
9. Yeah, might want to correct that one.
Just because you definitely don’t want to eat that.
I usually find it cute when my kids mispronounce words but my 3 year old wanted porn flakes for breakfast
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 24, 2020
8. A girl after my own heart.
Sprinkles go with everything.
Me: What do you want for dessert?
Me: On what?
5: My plate.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 22, 2020
7. Never since batteries were invented.
They are incapable of thinking ahead.
“I better shut this off when I’m done so the batteries don’t die”
– no kid ever in the history of kids.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) November 23, 2020
6. What a fun game!
Not for Santa, I suppose.
Son: daddy, will Santa be allowed to come this year?
Me: Afraid not, kiddo
Daughter: *dismantling bear trap* so we wait til next year?
Me: no… *loading crossbow* …we take the fight to him
— Sir Reginald Longstock (@HansGrubertron) November 22, 2020
5. He tried to play it really cool.
10 points o Gryffindor.
I’m not saying my 4yo is an optimist, but while putting groceries away he held up a bag of cookies and said “I’ll just keep these in my room, ok?”
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) November 23, 2020
4. They will learn.
There will come a day when they, too, realize they are too lazy to use a microwave.
I've never felt like more of a failure as a parent than when I learned neither of my kids likes cold pizza.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) November 23, 2020
3. You’d better not be the one who pushed it.
You will be deafened by the screaming.
hell hath no fury like a toddler who loses the chance to push a button of any kind.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 24, 2020
2. Heaven help you.
There is no escape.
There is no limit to the number of things a 5-year-old will tattle on you for.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 17, 2020
1. It’s best to just say nothing.
They will learn soon enough.
Me when my kids talk about how cute the turkeys on TV are: pic.twitter.com/WYgizSOYFl
— Xennial Daddy (@Xennial_Daddy) November 26, 2020
See what I mean? Good, am I right?
No… they’re genius, I tell you!
Now, go check on those kids – fingers crossed nothing is ruined!
Also, tell us which of these really made you laugh out loud. Do that in the comments.