I know that learning you’re having a baby is not a joyous moment for everyone.
There are all kinds of concerns that come part and parcel with bringing another human being into the world – including financial ones – but for most committed couples who were trying for a baby, the news that there are going to be two instead of one is something they can take in stride.
This woman’s story begins with the fact that her husband is extremely obsessed with their budget, and strict with money. They’ve had a tough year but are good at saving, which is why they planned a pregnancy.
At her 12-week ultrasound, they found out they were having twins – and though it was a shock for both of them, he really started to freak out.
He was in full panic mode about how he’d only planned for one child, and when the doctor tried to offer a different point-of-view, such as twins being an extra blessing, he snapped at her about how much money she probably makes.
They argued when they arrived home, her angry about how he acted in front of the doctor and him frustrated that all of his careful planning is coming undone.
Then, he left.
Now he’s expecting her to apologize for dismissing his feelings, but he’s unwilling to consider going to therapy (probably because of the money).
She’s wondering if she’s overreacting, and as usual, she’s come to the right place if she’s looking for judgment.
He’s coming from a good place, but you can always have too much of a good thing.
The issue is not his feelings, of course, but how he expressed them.
And yes, his response was extremely unhelpful.
Most people pointed out that even if his stress is valid, he isn’t handling it appropriately.
It’s a shock, and it’s going to be rough, but they need to be in this together.
Also, this is just a good primer for what having kids is like in general.
What do you think? Was she right? Was he? Does everyone suck here?
Let’s break it down in the comments!