In the old days, no woman would have even considered not taking her husband’s last name after marriage. Even today it’s the norm – people do it without even thinking about why they’re doing it or if they really want to, and that’s okay.
But it’s equally okay if you don’t want to, whether you have your reasons or you don’t want to deal with the mountain of paperwork involved in the process.
I made the decision not to legally change my name and yes, I have been attacked by random, snide strangers making insinuations about my relationship because of it.
People need to mind their own business.
Which, I’m sure, is what meteorologist Abby Dyer likely thought when she received an anonymous, typed letter in the mail.
The “fan” is, for some reason, quite angry about Dyer’s choice to use her maiden name, as though it affects her personally.
“Abby Dyer, Are you married? If so, why don’t you use your married name instead of your maiden name?
Are you ashambed (sic) of your husband or just got an obsession with your maiden name?” the letter continues. “I know my husband would be irritated if I continued to use my maiden name. I bet the reason for this maiden name your (sic) obsessed with, is you want men to think you are hot and a single girl.
Have a great single day. SINGLE GIRL.”
Dyer, bless her heart, responded publicly, and began with slam dunk #1 – calling out the cowardice of sending anonymous correspondence.
“Dear anonymous, I would have liked the opportunity to respond to you privately, but you chose to not include your name or any return address so I’m posting this here in hopes this reaches you.”
I am happily married. Most of my posts and commentary are about the weather – since that’s my job – and not my personal life. You may also have noticed that I wear my wedding ring proudly every day.
I’m sorry you felt the need to write such a malicious note without ever considering I may have thought about this decision very carefully.
Let’s all remember to be kind to each other and give each other a little grace.
P.S. For the record, my husband and I made this decision together. He fully supports me and always has.”
Not that she owes anyone an explanation, but Dyer told TODAY that one of the reasons she decided to continue using her maiden name was professional (“anchors use their names for continuity for their career”) but also because, at the time, her husband had a dangerous job.
“We did it mainly for safety so they couldn’t connect the adults.”
Just your daily reminder that you’re not inside anyone else’s relationship.