If your child is under the age of 14, there’s no way distance learning is your first choice. New systems, depending on internet to stay working, needing to constantly monitor what’s being said, what’s due, what’s supposed to be done…it’s a nightmare.
That goes double (or even triple) for anyone whose kids are in elementary school, because expecting them to sit still for a few hours in front of a computer – nevermind actually learn anything – is ludicrous.
A fact these 13 parents definitely learned the hard way.
13. I doubt she’s alone.
Come on, others, fess up.
Anyone else’s 6th grader just randomly yell “WHAT THE HELL!?” Into a zoom meeting while unmuted?
Just mine? Okay.
— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) September 3, 2020
12. These teachers. Bless them.
I need to know if it happened, though. What’s the end of the story?!
A boy in my son’s online first grade class told the teacher he felt like he was going to puke. The teacher said he should go to the bathroom. He held up a small trashcan. The teacher said, “Oh, well, looks like you’re ready.” And they continued on learning shapes in Spanish.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 29, 2020
11. That’s a new one.
Happy all over again I have boys.
My 5th grader was all pissed off the first day of virtual learning because we made her wear headphones and they obscured her dangly earrings and nobody would be able to see them during Zoom. Kill me now.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) August 24, 2020
10. That was a good start.
Let’s pack it in, yeah?
https://twitter.com/beckyhas4kids/status/1300418103860506624?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1300418103860506624%7Ctwgr%5Eshare_3&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffpost.com%2Fentry%2Fremote-learning-tweets-parents_l_5f516482c5b6578026cb712c
9. Whatever has the highest alcohol content.
It might actually make sense that way.
What wine pairs well with Common Core math?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 24, 2020
8. No more education needed.
Next he’ll learn to be sad and hungry when actual lunch time rolls around.
https://twitter.com/beckyhas4kids/status/1300444733915967495?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1300444733915967495%7Ctwgr%5Eshare_3&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffpost.com%2Fentry%2Fremote-learning-tweets-parents_l_5f516482c5b6578026cb712c
7. Trick question.
It’s hours, not days.
If a parent has two children under the age of 10 doing remote learning, how many days into the start of the school year will they start counting how many days are left in the school year?
— Julie Vick (@vickjulie) September 2, 2020
6. It’s like a Monty Python skit.
Which is both the best and worst thing about it.
In a virtual meet & greet with 9yo's new teacher and the sound keeps cutting out—the kids have missed maybe half of what she's said so far. She came back right as she was saying "we expect all students to use technology appropriately." lolllllll this bodes well
— Nicole Chung | @nicolechung on Bluesky (@nicolesjchung) August 28, 2020
5. So much optimism that first day.
But you can still embarrass your teen! Don’t forget that!
https://twitter.com/WendiAarons/status/1296084702365921282?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1296084702365921282%7Ctwgr%5Eshare_3&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffpost.com%2Fentry%2Fremote-learning-tweets-parents_l_5f516482c5b6578026cb712c
4. None of us are quite right at the moment.
It’s fine. She’s just a decade behind.
My friend’s son is remote learning right now and driving her insane and she legit said, “I can’t wait until his daycare opens up again!” High school. She means his high school.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) August 24, 2020
3. They told us to pay attention.
We didn’t listen, and now look.
1999 HS Graduate Brittany: Thank God I am never using math again.
2020 Virtual Learning Parent Brittany: WHAT ARE RECIPROCALS AND WHY DOES YOUR CALCULATOR HAVE BUTTONS WITH WHOLE WORDS ON IT? pic.twitter.com/5zHM0vip0S
— Brittany Gibbons (@brittanyherself) August 24, 2020
2. This could end up working in their favor.
Not ours, though, because they will never get jobs.
Two weeks of Google Meetup/Zoom classes and I'm pretty sure my son will work on a farm before he works in an office.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) September 1, 2020
14. Hard to argue with their logic.
I kind of want to just follow their lead in everything.
Kids: *sitting on floor*
Me: why aren’t you guys on your Zoom call?
Kids: Internet’s out
Me: Did you try reconnecting?
Kids:
Me: Did you reboot your computers?
Kids:
Me: So, you just quit for the day?
Kids: Yup
Me: *wonders if it’s too early to start drinking*— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 4, 2020
We knew it would be silly and hard, but did we know it would be this silly and hard?
If you’ve got a funny story from the land of distance learning, share it with us in the comments!