Anyone who has been married – ever, for any length of time at all – will tell you that losing your sense of humor is the fastest way for things to go south.
So, even if your husband is being brutally honest, give him his laughs.
It will be good for your relationship in the long run, which means that these 18 dudes must have the healthiest marriages around!
18. You’ll have to be more specific.
But no, you’re still not eating cookies in bed.
girl at bar: i’d let you do that thing in bed that your wife won’t
me: [visibly excited] eat cookies?
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) June 14, 2020
17. He knew the consequences.
But I mean, a point needed to be made.
My wife said I walk like an elephant and she can hear me coming a mile away. So I did the mature thing and snuck up on her 60 seconds later and scared the shit out of her. She has now filed for divorce.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 29, 2020
16. I’m impressed he folds towels.
But yeah, there’s only ONE WAY they all fit under the sink or in the closet, so…
Welcome to marriage. Here's the new way you fold towels.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 1, 2020
15. She’s probably never asking about your d%ck.
Unless it’s your birthday or something.
Wife: is it hard?
Me: not yet but if we get naked-
Wife: the taxes, not your dick.
Me: oh…yeah I’m pretty confused actually.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 24, 2020
14. She’s just doing her part.
But that’s what happens at Target whether you really mean for it to or not.
The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 17, 2020
13. Or a knife, in this house.
My husband doesn’t trust me at all.
Anytime my wife has scissors in her hand I dial 9-1 on my phone and wait.
— 🐻 Karma Police 🤖 (@KarmaPolice238) June 30, 2020
12. Okay, yeah, he’s definitely getting the house.
It always pays to do a bit of investigating.
my wife was feeling pretty confident walking into divorce court but she didn’t know i had pictures pic.twitter.com/3EAthvsd2S
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) June 22, 2020
11. When you were sure they’d say no…
And now you’re stuck.
Me: Want me to drive for a while?
Me: Oh. That wasn't a real offer.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2020
10. He didn’t even know what he was missing!
And he was probably okay with it, to be honest.
The best thing about being married is having clothes that match.
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) June 24, 2020
9. Learn from his mistakes.
Don’t return gifts from people who will ask about it later.
Just a heads up, if you exchange the gift your wife got you, even if it’s her idea and she’s quote “totally fine with it”, this act will be used against you in a future argument at some point in the next ten years
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 30, 2020
8. A good rule of thumb is that if they’re annoying you, the opposite is probably also true.
Yes, spoken from experience.
My wife asked me if she had any ‘annoying’ habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation.
— Batty (@BattyMclain) June 23, 2020
7. That would be something to have to live with.
But I mean. What if you need poop bags?
I always say “I love you” to my wife when she leaves because I’d hate for something to happen and the last thing she ever hears from me is, “while you’re at the store get poop bags.”
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 27, 2020
6. Those things could crush a person.
I know they crush my will to live.
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Taking a virtual tour of Pharoah Ramesses VI's tomb.
Wife: What are you supposed to be doing?
Me: …not this?
Wife: *buries me in unfolded laundry*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2020
5. He’s just another kid.
Everyone can’t have the right plate all the time sorry.
my wife says I’m acting like a toddler but maybe she shouldn’t have put my food on the wrong plate
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 29, 2020
4. You want to marry someone who always keeps you guessing.
And who drives you insane, obviously.
today my wife said “guess who i saw in costco today?” then made me guess for like 10 min and when i didnt guess it was like “remember that super tan lady we saw walking down the street last week..” thats who she thought i might guess. a lady we dont even know that we saw one time
— slick (@dlicj) June 25, 2020
3. The people who have no way are monsters.
You can’t just load that thing all willy-nilly.
There are 2 types of people in a marriage: the person who thinks their way of loading the dishwasher is best and the person who thinks their way of loading the dishwasher is best
— The Dad (@thedad) June 27, 2020
2. He doesn’t want to be responsible for not reporting a dead body.
Mine would probably do the same.
My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 22, 2020
1. She’s probably too tired to notice.
If it’s not caffeine, we’re not interested.
My wife can slice cheese without eating a slice herself and I am starting to wonder if she is even human.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 4, 2020
I don’t know how I would respond as the wife but I hope I would laugh, because these are objectively funny comments and observations.
How has your partner made you laugh this week? Share it with us in the comments!