We really like to share the love, and when it comes to hilarious and true tweets about parenting, there are never enough to go around!
Parents need to know that others are in the same trenches they are – or have come out the other side safe and sound – and these 14 tweets will make you laugh, and then raise a glass.
14. Those poor sweet second babies.
Don’t even get us started on the ones after that.
If you remember the exact time that your second child was born, you're a better person than I.
— Ｍｏｍｚｉｌｌａ (@milliondollrfam) November 21, 2019
13. I definitely don’t think it’s the former.
“Hot Cross Buns” could go either way.
Is being able to play Ode to Joy on the recorder a developmental milestone or just parental torture?
— Farah Miller (@farahlearned) May 16, 2019
12. It’s important to put them in their place.
And also to educate them on all things Star Wars.
5 just corrected 2 (in a very condescending tone), “He’s called Dark Vader because he’s DARK.”
Me (to self): You’re the parent, be mature.
Also me: Hahaha, WRONG!
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) November 19, 2019
11. All we want is to be away from the beings that made us a mother.
It’s not you, it’s us. Promise.
Husband: “What time are you coming back?”
Me on Mother’s Day: pic.twitter.com/h6G5xPux2P
— CurrentlyCaprece (@MommieKnwsFresh) May 11, 2019
10. All life lessons are important.
Being frugal is a lesson, right?
I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also she is only 12 when we buy movie tickets.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 15, 2019
9. And by “cool,” he means “eye opening.”
Who hasn’t called their mother to apologize at least once?
Being a parent is cool because you get to yell at your kids for doing the same shit you did as a kid.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) May 17, 2019
8. Always annoy your kids when you can.
The payback opportunities are endless.
Fun fact: If you sing casserole to the tune of Tootsie Roll, your kids still won't eat dinner but they will be just as annoyed as you, so winning.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 10, 2020
7. Hey, that’s my size, too!
What a coincidence!
If you’re looking to get me something for the holidays, I’m a size overnight babysitter.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) November 17, 2019
6. They never have any idea how it happened, either.
It’s a mystery but I guess we should have been watching them closer.
Until I became a parent I never thought I would hear another human cry, because they stomped their own hands
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 6, 2020
5. That child is going places.
I’m not sure where, but those feet have to be good for something.
None of the parenting books tell you that your 2 year old will name her feet Tommy (R) and Omar (L), yet here we are.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 20, 2019
4. Details, details.
It’s almost like he doesn’t WANT any empty house attention!
Me: I've been so patient and I haven't yelled at the kids once today
Husband: The kids have been at your mom's house all day
— Christina Crawford (some people call me Maurice) (@Xtina_Crawford) August 4, 2020
3. No, because none of the Frozen stories make sense.
Sorry not sorry y’all.
Will I understand Frozen 2 if I’ve only seen Frozen 86 times in the past 4 months
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) November 19, 2019
2. It is one of the laws of the universe.
And it works for anything and everything you promised to do.
TIP: Never tell a child you will make cookies with them if you don't want to answer "WHEN ARE WE MAKING COOKIES" every minute for next 3 days
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 4, 2020
1. Stepping on sucked-on oranges is my favorite.
Who doesn’t want to live in a house of horrors like this?
If you prefer your fruit half eaten and laid out randomly around the house, definitely have a toddler
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@xennial_mom) November 22, 2019
We’re all doing the thing, y’all, and in 18 years we’ll be the lame folks telling younger people to “cherish every moment.”
Just kidding. I solemnly swear I will never say that to anyone, and you should, too.