I say “some” men because stereotyping is bad and all of that, but truly, I have never met a man who sneezed at a normal volume. My father, for instance, has nearly deafened me on many occasions when he let loose in the car.
As someone easily bothered by loud noises, it’s possible that I’m more sensitive to it than some, but hey – here’s some science behind why men (sometimes) sneeze so loud it shakes the walls.
i just sneezed a contact out #mansneeze
— Dusty Baker (@weakendaternies) August 18, 2018
You know how to recognize these men – they’re performing, perhaps, or showing dominance. They say they can’t help it, that the sneeze just comes out that way, but is that really true? Can’t we all sneeze quietly if we want to?
Maybe not, actually. And that’s hard for me to admit.
The act of sneezing, of course, is involuntary. We all do it, but how you do it can actually reveal something about your personality. And as for men in general being loud sneezers?
Yeah, we can make some assumptions about that, too – most of which boil down to “dudes gonna dude.”
Have just sneezed so hard I've split my lip! How? Wtf? #mansneeze pic.twitter.com/hEMhnBDPaK
— Colin Lowndes (@colinlowndes) April 7, 2013
When neurologist and psychologist Dr. Alan Hirsch spoke to NBC News about the phenomenon, he said that “sneezes are like laughter. Some are loud, some are soft. And it’s similar with sneezing…it’s more of a psychological thing and represents the underlying personality or character structure.”
A sneeze is pretty ridiculous to begin with if you think about it – your body starts to tense, twitch, and convulse until air and snot shoot forth, after all – so it seems silly to do it as loudly as possible, like you’re some sort of cartoon.
Like maybe we’ll all think you’ve got other big things since you’ve got big sneezes? Idk.
To be fair, people who try stifle a sneeze sound pretty silly, too – and there are valid medical reasons for not trying to hold one in. Not letting go, at least a little bit, has led to ruptured eardrums, torn throat muscles, and even aneurysms (all of which sound terrible).
How do girls have those tiny little cute sneezes? I sound like a foghorn shoved up a whale butt 🐳 #mansneeze
— Tawny🌞 (@tawners21) January 23, 2017
The old adage “better out than in” applies to most bodily functions, sneezing included, but surely there’s a normal, middle ground here?
Even for men weaned on heavy metal, cars without mufflers, and Jerry Bruckheimer films?
One can only hope that with the rapidly changing idea of what is and isn’t “manly,” this ridiculous but time-honored practice goes down with toxic masculinity.
Fingers crossed, my dudes. And please, remember to use a tissue, and wash your hands.