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You might think it’s wrong to lie to your kids, but listen. Kids put their parents through a lot. We spend hours, days, months, years, worrying whether or not we’re screwing it all up, wondering if our kids are ok, and generally dealing with a lot of stress they shovel our way.

We have to amuse ourselves how we can, and as these 10 people’s memories prove, sometimes that means getting your kids to believe completely outlandish lies for as long as possible.

10. Superstition?

My dad told me that throwing out old calendars was bad luck. One year I tried to test his theory by throwing out an old calendar (i had amassed a stockpile) and ended up crying in my wardrobe for hours convinced that I had just killed my whole family. My mother wasn’t best pleased when she found out.

9. He did the best he could in the moment.

This one is very bad, and was my dad’s idea.

I was 3 when 9/11 happened and my dad had us watching the news. They kept playing a clip of one of the towers falling. I asked my dad what happened and he said, and I quote ‘it’s a really big block of flats and someone slammed the door too hard.’ Now my nan lived in a block of flats so from thay day on I had this fear of her flats falling down, so whenever we visited I made sure to close all doors carefully.

As I grew up I learned what 9/11 was, but it was only when I was in year 7 and we were learning about 9/11 and my teacher played the exact same footage did I realise what it actually was.

8. This made me snort.

People in Australia had to wear special shoes with spikes on to stop them falling off the earth.

7. Bless his heart.

My brother-in-law was told that eating cakes fresh from the oven would give you stomach ache. Really his mum just wanted first slice for herself.

He only realized hot desserts were a thing when he was 30.

I don’t hold him in high regard…

6. Classic dad move.

Dad told me that the boiler would explode if I put the thermostat above 20. Believed that until I was in my late teens.

5. At least he left a note.

My parents told me that my goldfish escaped to the sea and gave me a postit note with tiny writing on it saying ‘I am going back to the sea!’

4. His wife explained! Howling.

On the M5 motorway between bristol and taunton there’s a river called blind yoe. I was always confused because there was this random sign saying “blind yoe” but due to foliage could never see anything.

One day I asked what the sign was for and my older brother convinced me that it was for an endangered kind of blind rodent that would run across the motorway.

For nearly 18 year’s, whenever I’d go past the spot I’d try to see these creatures until my now wife explained it was just a river….. Still disappointed now tbh.

3. Not the dog.

That if I ate a Yorkie I would die (I’m a girl)

I believed I was breaking the law and would be sent to jail. For years I wouldn’t even touch them.

2. At least someone was laughing.

I was told that ringing the bus bell slowed the bus down. When I went to secondary school I had to take the bus. My mind was blown by the reckless ringing of the bell. I felt sorry for the driver having to put his foot down to counter it.

I asked a driver in my first week there and he wouldn’t stop laughing.

1. Who told the truth?

My dad told me the Union Jack was called the onion jacket. Still haven’t forgiven him.

I don’t want to laugh at these, but I just can’t help it.

Tell us the funniest thing you’ve convinced your kids to believe in the comments!


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