Being in a relationship is tough sometimes, and I know I’m probably biased, but being the lady in a relationship can come with extra challenges.
That’s why we need our jokes so much, just to get us through the days without committing murder.
I’m not saying…I’m just saying. You know.
10. As long as you give him a buffer.
So like, five minutes and some Glade? Would that do the trick?
I like being married because I can say things like “jeez I am so damn gassy today” and still end up getting laid later.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 5, 2020
9. That’s the right answer.
That goes for everyone, sir. She’s the only one you should be asking.
I got asked for nudes once and I was like, “No, I’m married.” And he was like, “Yeah, I know. I’m your husband.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 6, 2020
8. He should have known better.
Maybe the laugh was worth it? Yeah, I bet he loved sleeping on the couch.
I did an impersonation of my husband and we laughed and laughed and then he did an impersonation of me and we laughed and laughed and he slept on the couch.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 9, 2020
7. It’s science! Haven’t you heard about SCIENCE?!
The mystery has been solved!
If my husband snores in a forest, yes I can still hear him from here because it's THAT DAMN LOUD
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) November 17, 2020
6. It is the way of the world.
So it shall be now and so it shall always have been. Amen.
The only time I complain about my husband being on his phone is when I’m not on mine.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) November 2, 2020
5. Well, she’s not technically wrong.
Eating is working… if you’re doing it right. And this gal definitely is.
husband: you’re so sweaty. did you work out?
me: [just ate half a block of cheese] yes
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) November 2, 2020
4. I mean if you want them in the bathroom longer.
So only if you don’t have kids? Maybe you need memes even more?
True love is sending your spouse memes to look at while they’re pooping.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 11, 2020
3. Just to watch him tense up.
We’ve all gotta get our kicks somehow, and I do this weekly.
When I feel like my husband seems to relaxed, I’ll just start a sentence with “y’know, I’ve been thinking…”
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) October 27, 2020
2. Your point, sir?
Really, he should have re-thought that question. Do you WANT anything is always a better one.
Husband, “I’m going to the store, do you need anything?”
Me, “A bottle of champagne.”
Husband, “Oh, I got you one yesterday.”
Me, “I said what I said.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 5, 2020
1. His precious babies are hostage.
And there’s nothing he can do about it! Mwahahaha!
My husband pissed me off so I took photos of me using his tools improperly and sent them throughout the day while he was at work as payback
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 15, 2020
These are instant classics and I won’t have anybody tell me differently.
Well, you can. If you want.
Tell us below which one you’ve already shared with a wife-type friend.