I love it when parents pen funny tweets about parenting. I love it when they write reflective tweets, too, and deep ones and sometimes when they’re pithy.
There’s nothing I love more than getting down to the nitty gritty, though, and these 15 parents are keeping it real.
15. You can maintain their innocence for a few more years.
Or until they look up the trailer on YouTube.
If you only show your kids Jurassic Park from 3:30 to 54:00, it's just a story about scientists visiting a quiet dinosaur farm.
— Lil BOO 🌈 (@LizerReal) September 26, 2020
14. Funny how they don’t give you that option.
The teachers don’t get one either, though.
How do I unsubscribe from my kid’s teacher’s emails?
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 28, 2020
13. There are no good answers.
Just, you know. Enjoy the moment.
I took a walk with my toddler, we passed by a couple hundred trees. At a couple hundred and one, she stopped, pointed, and shouted “look Mama, a tree!” And then continued our walk past another hundred trees. So I ask you, what the hell?!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 25, 2020
12. He knows which one was his, too.
Trust me on that one.
4: mama, I lost my pet rock. I need it. you HAVE to find it!
me: well, where did you have it last?
— 🎃 mom mom mom mom mom 🎃 (@notmythirdrodeo) September 28, 2020
11. Eventually the ride chugs back into the station.
Or so I’m told.
Watching your kid grow from tiny human to small adult who thinks they know better than you is one of life's greatest roller coasters
— Vegas🇨🇦 'V Money' (@Conchvegas1) September 27, 2020
10. Seems legit.
I’d buy the book.
Person who heard his kid screaming and shrieking while being forced to play the piano accidentally invented Opera
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 28, 2020
9. They don’t even realize they’re doing it half the time.
That doesn’t change the facts, though.
Parenting is mostly just making plans for little humans whose primary function is to thwart those plans.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) September 28, 2020
8. Some day you will share a knowing glance over the hedge.
Unless she’s smarter than you have been.
My neighbor won’t understand why I hide in my car until she has kids.
— Obviously Everyone… (@OMGSoOverIt) September 28, 2020
7. Bless their hearts.
Get those teachers some good gift cards for the holidays.
Asked 3 how pre school was and she told me Jake peed all over the bookcase and Mia burped in Amy’s face which made Amy cry and drop her lunch on the floor and this is exactly the kind of information I’m looking for from all my kids from now on
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 1, 2020
6. To be fair, they are both.
And the latter this is super handy.
When people with no kids ask what’s so great about having kids I try to explain the feeling of falling in love with a piece of yourself in human form but the words don’t do the feeling justice so I just say they’re a great excuse to get out of plans
— Vision Booooooored👻 (@VisionBored1) September 29, 2020
5. You just never know.
And I mean. He’s a potato.
I truly believe my daughter can be anything she wants to be but after seeing how she plays with mr potato head I really hope that isn’t a doctor
— Lottie-pop (@Lottie_Poppie) September 28, 2020
4. Sure, why not?
I’m sure they’re smart enough to frame it as some kind of lesson.
Are we allowed to storm upstairs, slam the door and shout "ITS NOT FAIR" when our kids are mean to us?
~asking for me
— Chelle (@Chelle_Coops) September 27, 2020
3. You have to pick your battles.
Sometimes it’s just not worth it.
4 wanted to cut her doll’s hair and I said no so we compromised and now she’s cutting her doll’s hair.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 28, 2020
2. This stuff is hard on all of us.
At least the parents can drink.
11yos doing remote school be like, help me with this, no not like that, no not like that either, ugh forget it I’ll do it myself, seriously it’s fine I’ll figure it out, ughhh you’re so annoying just leeeeeave, wait I need help come back
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 25, 2020
1. There are no shortage of wonders.
Protip: Do NOT flush their poo without asking.
Children are such magical little creatures; how they marvel at a field of dandelions, gleefully chase bubbles, are blown away by the consistency and color of their own feces. Just precious.
— Rhyming Monster (@sarabellab123) September 28, 2020
We’ve all been there, and that’s why we love tweets like these so much.
What’s the realest parenting moment you’ve had this week? Share it with us in the comments!