Parents are good at dressing up their heathen kids, forcing their partners into uncomfortable clothes and poking them until they smile, and paying someone to snap a perfect picture.
Seriously, I’ve got a hunch of them on my wall.
14. I wish pants didn’t have to be worn at the park.
Not for him, but for me.
Have kids, so you can spend three hours arguing with your 3yo as to why pants must be worn at the park and why his junk will not suffocate if he does
— Kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) September 27, 2020
13. Someone is missing the point.
I’m not sure if it’s the parent or the kid, tbh.
I read “Rainbow Fish” to my 6yo tonight and really felt the message of sharing was sinking in until he frowned at me and said “fish can’t talk”
— Dad off my Feet (@dad_off_my_feet) September 29, 2020
12. To be fair, those first three years take up a LOT of fuel.
It takes time to replenish.
I was a great mom for the first three years, and I've been just coasting on fumes since then.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) September 28, 2020
11. This happened to me last week.
That cardinal met our front window and never stood a chance.
Parenting is weird because at some point you’re going to hold funeral services for a bird. It probably won’t even be a pet bird. Just a dead one your kids happen upon in the park.
— 👻 Haunt the Nanny 👻 (@not_thenanny) September 26, 2020
10. They can’t tell you what to do in your own home.
I’m just saying.
As if parenting in 2020 isn’t bad enough, schools be like:
“iPads must be fully charged”
“Read all daily emails”
“A ‘healthy’ breakfast is essential”
“Ma’am, your language is inappropriate”
“PUT ON A BRA!”
“Have you been drinking?”
Geez. Give us a break already.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) September 29, 2020
It really is, if you think about it.
5: oh I'm going to miss you daddy
Me: why? Where am I going?
5: you're getting so old and you're close to being dead soon and I'm going to miss you
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 28, 2020
8. On the other hand, the teacher will thank you for the entertainment.
Yes, I also know from experience.
If you’re sitting next to your kid during zoom school it is absolutely imperative that you check, and then double check, whether he’s on mute before making a snarky comment. Please learn from my mistakes.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 29, 2020
7. They’re not too lazy.
They don’t want to be the bad guy, that’s all. They’ve done that already.
Normalize saying a big hard no when grandparents try to send useless garbage home with your kids because they’re too lazy to throw it out themselves
— Vision Booooooored👻 (@VisionBored1) September 28, 2020
6. Is this how you finally get out of Father’s Day?
No more socks or ties for you!
Me: It's National Daughter Day.
8-year-old: What did you get me?
Me: Nothing. It's not a gift-giving holiday.
8: I'll remember that on Father's Day.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 25, 2020
5. Didn’t you know it was so easy to fix all this time?
Why aren’t you telling her thank you?!
I found my daughter brushing her brother's hair, and she said "look mom – no more cowlick" and I thought that was so cute and then I saw the scissors.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) September 29, 2020
4. They’re always throwing something new at you.
So no, you’ve never “got this.”
Whoever said that with enough practice you can become an expert at anything sure as shit wasn’t talking about parenting
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) September 26, 2020
3. So just a regular unfiltered drunk?
They have wayyyyyy more energy, though.
3yo's are like unfiltered drunk people that love gummy fruit snacks.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 29, 2020
2. That’s true.
He can argue, but the line of thinking is solid.
SON: Can I have ice cream for dinner?
SON: You did.
ME: I have more things to be sad about than you.
— The Dad (@thedad) September 27, 2020
1. I like the way she thinks.
Honestly, I’m definitely going to work on copying it.
My 4yo thinks she looks just like Elsa because
“they both have necks”
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 28, 2020
It’s just such a relief that I’m not the only one struggling!
What makes you feel better about your own parenting struggles? Confessions in the comments!