We all have those things that someone convinced us was true as a child – or something we “figured out” on our own that was just spectacularly stupid and wrong.
These 15 people are ready to admit what theirs was for the world, though, so please – come and have a laugh with me.
That I was the only one in the world with actual thoughts and feelings and everyone else was just part of my reality.
14. And it all changed during The Wizard of Oz.
I thought the world used to be black and white.
13. Sex education, please.
Just kissing a boy or sleeping together in the Bed will result in me giving birth in the next month
I got scared when I was younger that when I slept in the same bed as my twin sister that she would get pregnant, I was like 9.
12. If only. Then maybe everyone would use them.
I didn’t know turn signals were manual, I thought the car just knew where we were going.
11. The babies, though?
That all dogs are male and all cats are female.
10. This is dreamy and I love it.
The moon was following me…
9. I guess that could happen.
I thought my penis had fallen off.
I was about four years old when I saw my aunt changing my baby cousin’s diaper, and I saw a bit too much of his baby junk for comfort. I guess she figured it didn’t matter, I was just a toddler. As a little girl who had not yet learned about genitals, I was baffled.
What on earth IS IT???
The only explanation my four year old chimp-brain could come up with to explain my baby cousin’s penis (and my lack thereof) was that babies are just born with them, and mine must have fallen off somewhere along the way. I thought that eventually, baby cousin’s would fall off too, in the same way baby teeth fall out.
8. Your own personal theater.
I thought actors performed the movie every time I put in the VHS tape.
I remember how I tried to watch movies at night because I knew the actors were Americans and about the time zones, lol
7. Religious not ftw.
I had a friend tell me about her sister’s birth. She said “her butt was shaved” and for the longest time I thought babies were born with very hairy butts. I didn’t realized her mom probably had to be shaved until I was older.
I also thought parents had to have sex regularly during a pregnancy to keep the baby fertilized or it would die.
I grew up Catholic – we did not speak of The Sex.
6. I mean it makes sense.
I thought foie gras was the fake grass they put in Easter baskets. I thought this even when I went into high school. I thought people hated it because it was a messy and useless waste.
Like, I honestly just thought vegans were assholes who hated Easter.
5. Too cute.
When I was like 4 or 5, I used to think that when a toy commercial said “batteries not included”, it meant batteries not required. I’d often use it as a selling point to convince my mom to but it for me, “Mom! It even says batteries not included!” 🤦🏻♀️😂
4. Well that’s creepy.
i was around 4 or 5, and from my understanding humans were monkeys in the very beginning. i got into a huge argument with a classmate because i was convinced we developed as monkeys in our mother’s womb and eventually grew into humans before being born.
3. I guess they never visited.
That since Denver was called the mile high city and airplanes flew a mile up in the air, that the airplane would just land in Denver up in the sky or could run into Denver if they weren’t careful
2. Just not here.
After 9/11 I thought we were going to have to invite al-Qaeda over to America for the fight, and they were going to invite us over there to fight, and all the civilians would have to hide in basements while the fighting went on.
Whenever me and my brother did something to an object that annoyed our parents, they would tell us not to do it because it would cause the object to burst into flames.
Jiggling the doorstops? You’ll burn the house down. Stacking too many books in a pile? Cool fire hazard, dorks. Sliding down the carpet stairs? Friction is a bitch.
It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize that not everything that annoyed my parents guaranteed a fire.
I think I shared a few of these beliefs!
Tell us in the comments what you would add to this list, because I need more chuckles today.