Parenting jokes are the best jokes (if you’re a parent), and there’s honestly no shortage of them on the internet.
Which is good, because we’ve all got a lot of time to fill and a lot of inspiration to soak up, right?
Let’s get to it with these 9 gems!
10. Well, at least he’s respectful!
You taught her well!
My 12yo son said “what the poop” I’m going to have to teach him to cuss so he doesn’t sound so lame
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) November 11, 2020
9. The only time “bless you” makes you roll your eyes.
The only time I can think of off the top of my head, anyway.
I just sneezed and my kid shouted from his bedroom “bless you dad!” which is adorable. You know what else is adorable? GOING THE FUCK TO SLEEP
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 19, 2020
8. We all need one of those on call.
Presents get more expensive every year.
My 8-year-old handed me her Christmas list and it’d be cheaper if I continue my relationship with the Nigerian Prince.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 12, 2020
7. Accidental humor is the best humor.
Especially from the mouths of babes.
My three-year-old son keeps calling him the Credible Hulk and it’s funnier than anything I’ve ever done or said.
— Sean O'Connor (@seanoconnz) November 16, 2020
6. She had hope in her heart.
Must have been yummy.
I asked my toddler what she put in her mouth, and she ran away from me as fast as her little legs would carry her. Nothing suspicious there.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) November 11, 2020
5. Excellent counterpoint.
Do you know how much those kids make on YouTube?
just realizing what a disservice it is to limit my kids screen time because they could become influencers and fund the rest of my life
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 11, 2020
4. I never imagined there could be so many reasons to cry.
That’s why there are so many kinds of alcohol, I think.
Until I became a parent I had never heard a human cry because they bumped their head on the roof of a blanket fort
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 16, 2020
In nine months a lot of baby girls are going to be named “Georgia” and “Four Seasons Total Landscaping.”
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) November 8, 2020
2. You have to leave reviews.
It’s the polite thing to do.
I’m having trouble being mad at my 8 y.o., whose teacher let me know that while he was supposed to be taking a standardized reading test he was on Google reviewing The Peanuts Movie.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) November 9, 2020
1. You know, the important stuff.
This is a weird time, people. Best to be practical.
Taking my son on his second college tour tomorrow.
They don’t let you into the buildings so it’s mainly just walking around saying “Now picture yourself passed out near that bush” or “Imagine yourself throwing up out of that window”
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 9, 2020
Go forth and conquer, my friends – bedtime is coming (eventually)!
But not now. Now is the time to read more tweets somewhere else on this site. You know how to do that. Just click around and you’ll find something good.
No, but seriously… we want to hear from you!
What’s the funniest thing your kid has done this week? Share with us in the comments!
Thanks fam! You make it all worthwhile!