I mean, every parent in the world has had this moment, right? Your kid does something so shocking, so wrong but so hilarious, and you’re faced with the need to control your laughter so they won’t, you know. Do it again.
It’s hard, y’all!
A fact these 13 parents definitely know all too well.
13. I think that’s a high-five moment, actually.
My kid: My brain wants me to call you a poopoo head, but I don’t want to be rude.
How do you even respond to that?
12. I’m not quite sure how to take that.
The other day while I was getting dressed my three-year-old told me I had a cute p*nis.
I’m a woman.
11. This has also happened to me.
No parent but when I was a kid I peed on my uncles dog (young enough not to remember but old enough to know better) My mom claims she was almost in hysterics but had to put a stern face on.
10. I mean…is it?
Not me, but my dad.
He was talking to my niece, and the topic of what games my brother-in-law (her dad) plays pops up. When asked what games he plays, she responded “It’s a stupid f*cking game”. She heard that from my sister (her mom) at some point, and i don’t think she got in trouble, but she was told that “f*ck” is a bad word.
9. Well that term has to be a thing now.
I got cut off in traffic recently, and knowing my 2.5 year old daughter was in the back seat I held it together with a simple “are ya kiddin’ me buddy!?” and open-hand raise. Proud of my restraint I smiled at my daughter in the rear view mirror; another day of successful parenting…
Until she piped up: “was he a juicebag mom?”.
It’s hard to drive and discipline and cry laugh and hide your face at the same time.
8. When they use it appropriately you kind of want to give them a high five.
My son was about 4 when he decided he was going to buckle himself into his carseat with NO HELP. At all.
So I decided to let him give it a go. I sat in the front seat and waited to hear the clicks from the buckles.
I heard “Godd*mmit.” from the back seat instead.
I turned around. “Excuse me?
“NUFFIN!” click click
7. I have some questions.
While playing in her pretend kitchen, my 4 year old was rummaging through the cabinets and says “Where the f*ck is my colander?!”
Before I can say anything she finds it, sniffs it, looks at her teddy bear and asks “Did you piss in this?” After gathering my composure I discussed the use of “daddy words”
6. Sometimes you’ve gotta cut your losses.
Not a parent, hopefully soon, but was a preschool teacher for 5 years. Up in the two year old room saying hi and this toddler brushes his teeth and drops his toothbrush.
With the response “oh sh%t”. The teacher corrected his behavior with “you can’t say that!” He then replied “oh f*ck I forgot”. I walked out dying of laughter.
5. How does that not crack you up?
My youngest sister said she got in trouble for swearing on the playground at school and had to sit against the wall the rest of recess.
My mom asked what she said and she replied “the H word”. My mom asks “hell?” and my sister goes “no, (w)hore” and my parents lost it. I still give her shit for that.
4. Consequences, meet actions.
My cousin when he was 2, he was a VERY proficient little swearer. It was weird how he knew exactly what situation to use a swear word in. He didn’t just use them randomly.
He didn’t want to do something? F*CK OFF!
Dropped something? D*mmit!
Broke something? Sh%t!
Couldn’t do something? F*CK YOU!
It took his parents a good year to get him to stop.
3. You just keep on walking.
Not a parent, but my mom has told me this story about me as a little kid dozens of times
I was in my room, playing with my Barbies, and as my mom was coming up the stairs, she heard me say, “Jesus Christ, Barbie, I can’t get your f*cking pants on!”
2. Oh yeah. They’re gonna love it.
My son, who was 1.5 years, followed his 5 year old cousin to the toilet. My son has always been fascinated by a stream of piss and i had to hold him back when he followed me to the bathroom.
On this particular trip with his cousin though….all we heard was “Marcus stop…marcus stop!” We went to the bathroom and saw Marcus washing his hands in his cousins stream of piss, while his cousin is moving around trying to stop marcus whilst absolutely pissing everywhere.
That will be a good story to tell when he’s older!
1. We can all relate.
Not a parent, but my folks are long term foster carers. One of their kids is a little lad, a bit messed up but ultimately an absolute little dude.
My dad once found him on their open plan staircase. He’d got all his clothes and bed sheets, tied them in a long rope, tied one end around the bannister pole at the top and was in the process of tying the other end around his waist.
He was literally going to abseil off, what’s roughly a 15ft drop onto solid wood floors. His clothes rope was about 30ft (he’d used duvets.)
My parents say having kids is basically just trying to stop little dudes from killing themselves. I pissed myself when they told me about this one though.
I’m cracking up, because today, it’s not my heathen.
What’s your favorite story like this about your kid? I want to hear it in the comments!