There are never enough tweets about parenting, because not only are kids and parents constantly running into more and more funny scenarios, other parents never stop needing the reminder that we’re not in this alone.
So, without further ado, here are the tweets you came here for today!
11. We should strike this from the lexicon.
No one wants to hear it. Not ever. The end.
One day when my teenager was upset I said "It is what it is," and now he says it to me every time I'm upset and, oh wow, it does not feel good
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) November 10, 2020
10. Kid knows where the good stuff comes from.
Snuggles and snacks. That’s the secret combo, yo!
My wife wanted to climb the tree in our front yard to hang Christmas lights, but my toddler cried and begged her not to so she wouldn't get hurt. It's was a warm, caring moment that showed how much she loves her mom. Moments later, she suggested I climb the tree instead.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 23, 2020
9. Time does not matter.
It’s all a concept. Right? Isn’t that how it works?
When do kids firmly grasp the concept of time? When referring to last week, my four year old says, "a yesterday that happened a long time ago."
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 10, 2020
8. We’re not supposed to cry.
At least not outside of the shower. But inside… totally fine!
My daughter asked me what it's like to be a parent, so I followed her around asking, "why?" over and over until she started crying.
— яicку (@iinkedZombie) November 9, 2020
7. Names don’t make sense.
But it’s funny to listen to them try. Oh… I hear mine trying now.
Kid: if lemonade has lemons in it, then does Powerade have powers in it?
Me: *sipping a Gatorade* I sure hope not
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) November 13, 2020
6. He can’t imagine anything stronger.
Bless his little heart. And his little mind. And his itty bitty, cold, dark soul.
Me: this day is stressing me…I need a drink.
3yo: here ya go dad *hands me his milk*
Me: got anything stronger?
3yo: yep! MOM CAN YOU GET DAD A CHOCOLATE MILK
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 3, 2020
5. Who is he trying to convince?
Is he Pinocchio? Are you Geppetto? Where’s that cricket?
My kid keeps referring to himself as a human boy and now I’m starting to have doubts
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) November 11, 2020
4. This kid is my new favorite.
That’s my kind of hilarious!
My four year old, when asked by a friend at day care why she has two mums and no dad, told her that her dad was eaten by a shark.
— Kate (@BakeKater) November 18, 2020
3. Set the bar low.
And you’ll fly past it every day, all day.
when I'm having a bad day as a parent, I just remind myself that plenty of animals won't hesitate to eat their kids, so really I'm in gold star territory
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) November 2, 2020
2. So it shall be until the end of time.
There’s no escape. You’ll be finding those forever.
I have a wife and two daughters. They can never find a hair tie and I can never stop finding them.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 24, 2020
1. May the nursing home workers live in fear of that day.
It will be nice, though, because you just wont give AF, and that will be so freeing.
I watched my toddler eat a grilled cheese buck naked tonight, just buck ass naked eating a grilled cheese sandwich because he wanted to.
Someday, I’m gonna be just like him.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 25, 2020
Take a deep breath, y’all, we’ve got this!
What’s your favorite recent parenting tweet? Share it with us in the comments!