Let’s face it, we all think we’re super funny, but that can’t possibly be true.
And way too many guys think that an excellent sense of humor comes part and parcel with becoming a husband and/or a father – I mean, puns are cool and all, but there are other types of jokes!
These 10 husbands, though, have some seriously funny thoughts on marriage and relationships – just check it out and see if I’m right!
10. You can do that at home!
For free (and now I sound like my father).
wife: oh cool, the zoo reopened
me: [sitting on couch shirtless in cutoff sweats while drinking beer] why would I want to go look at a some bored dumb animal who sits around all day doing nothing
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) September 1, 2020
9. That’s called working in tandem.
Something tells me she doesn’t think it’s as cute as he does.
My wife and I are to the point where all I have to do is text her "Hey" and she'll text back "They're on the dresser."
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 14, 2020
8. You’re on the same page.
You’re just reading different books.
Me: *dressed as a dragon*
Wife: I meant SEXUAL fantasy
Me: *handing her a donkey outfit* ya
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) September 11, 2020
7. He can never be wrong.
That’s more important than romance, hello.
Me: happy anniversary!
Wife: *eyes narrow*
Wife: I just think it would be more romantic if you didn't say that every morning just in case
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) August 6, 2020
6. Everything is a competition.
You know I’m right.
Being the first to fall asleep at night is such a marriage flex.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 12, 2020
5. Heaven help the person loading it “wrong.”
Because of course there is a right way.
Not to brag but my wife and I can hold complete conversations by rage loading the dishwasher
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 9, 2020
4. Working from home is a trip.
Just be impressed he knows how to work an iron.
Wife: What the hell are you doing?
Me [ironing bathrobe]: getting my work clothes ready
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 20, 2020
3. He thinks it’s charming.
She’s not so sure.
ME: *blows out my birthday candles
WIFE: Did you make a wish?
ME: Yes I did.
WIFE: *sighs* Did you wish that squirrels could roar like lions, again?
ME: Yes I did.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) November 6, 2020
2. Someone needs a memo.
That’s a clear violation.
My wife and I are both working from home.
She microwaved fish.
Time to alert HR.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 2, 2020
1. Now that you mention it.
He probably didn’t want to know the answer to that question.
Wife: What are you wearing?
Me: I wanted to make a statement.
Wife: Was that statement "I don't know how to dress myself?"
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 31, 2020
I’m giggling quite a bit right now, and I’m glad I am. Dads need to get more credit for being essential AND hilarious.
Which one of these cracked you up the most? Which one would you retweet immediately? Which one do you wish you tweeted?
Let us know in the comments! We love to read your thoughts!