You might think that parenting tweets are a dime a dozen, just because there are so many people tweeting about how tough and funny and exhausting and rewarding it is to be living with young humans these days.
The thing is, there are a lot of parenting tweets, but there are some that are a cut above the rest – and we really think these 12 parents have what it laughs to crack you up.
10. Oooh, or a wine and cheese shop.
Two is better than one.
Kid: Would you rather be invisible or be able to fly?
Me: Be invisible.
Kid: To fight bad guys, right?
Me, imagining breaking into a cheese shop and eating all the cheese: Totally.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) January 26, 2021
9. They say you can have it all.
But I’m not sure that’s really true.
is my house clean and tidy and laundry folded neatly and meals prepped for the week?
but am i less stressed and making fun memories with my kids who are playing nicely?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 24, 2021
8. Sometimes it’s not even that impressive tbh.
Sometimes they forget what they were going to show so they just like, jump up and down.
Little kids love pestering you incessantly for an hour straight to “look at this” only to end up showing you a Barbie doll doing a cartwheel.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 26, 2021
7. They really do learn by watching us.
Except for when it comes to picking up toys.
Overheard my 7 year old daughter say, “That doesn’t go there” to my husband while loading the dishwasher and I’ve never been more proud.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) January 25, 2021
6. It’s all about the way you say it.
People love poetry, right?
My 6yo: Your doctor should never say you’re going to die. They should say you’re “a goner” or “doomed”
I hope she goes into medicine
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) January 27, 2021
5. Bless her heart.
The curiosity is amazing and also annoying.
My daughter just said “if I could talk to animals I would have so many questions” and I know this to be true because that’s literally all she does
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) January 26, 2021
4. They never see anything useful.
It’s selective hearing and sight and maybe all of their senses. I’m not sure.
My daughters favorite new phrase is "ok girl, I see you" and I'm just wondering how she can see all these girls, but the piles of clothes on her floor are invisible.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) January 26, 2021
3. Modern parenting is a gas.
Back in the day parents would have just had to laugh and tell their friends about it at church on Sunday.
Parenting is a lot of shouting things like: IF YOU GET YOURSELF STUCK IN A BOX, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO MOVE UNTIL I GET A PICTURE!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 26, 2021
2. Safety first, lady.
If he can’t play flag football, you cannot have a bite of his hamburger.
My 4yo refused to let me try a bite of his hamburger and when I asked why he looks me dead in the eyes and without a trace of irony says “coronavirus”
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) January 27, 2021
1. I’m impressed he even heard you.
I think mine might be deaf.
I’m not saying that asking your kids to clean will always make things worse, but I asked my 4yo to clean his muddy shoes and found him standing naked in a full bathtub polishing them with his toothbrush
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) January 26, 2021
I know I’m chuckling, because these are just so true they have to be funny.
Which one did you already share with a parent friend? Tell us in the comments!