Different people shine on social media on different days, and although some parenting accounts are consistently funny, anyone can break in with some genius, relatable, pithy comment on any given day.

New talent or old standard, we think these 11 parenting tweets are just what we all need to start (or end) our days just right.

11. Until like the age of 5.

And it can turn on an absolute dime.

10. I don’t know how those things are related.

I’m sure the kid does, though.

9. This one doesn’t follow the rules.

You’ve gotta respect that.

8. I will also pray he’s not murdered by his loving mother.

Deep breaths.

7. At least, she hopes it is.

If not, the afterlife is gonna be messier than we planned.

6. Among other things.


5. Does it also have alcohol?

If so, hand me a glass.

4. And my youth and my body and my brown hair…

The list goes on and on, my friends.

3. That’s a whole morning long conversation.

And no, they still won’t get it.

2. I hear that.

But I don’t think it means bedtime is suddenly gonna be a snap.

1. Life lessons are important, too.

And won’t give the kids anxiety for the rest of their lives. Probably.


One day I want to be on one of these lists! Because if anybody is going to be on a list, you want to be on the “funniest people alive” list.

What’s your favorite parenting account? Do you follow some funny folks on Insta?

Share with us in the comments!